How I Spend My Days

Now I spend my days

Looking over my shoulder

Tomorrow I will

Look ahead, to the future

Now I spend my time

Holding back, biding my time

Tomorrow I will

Take what is mine, do what’s right

Now I spend my days

Feeling the fear like fire in my veins

Tomorrow I will

Let it be blood, not fire

Now I spend my time

Living with anxiety

Tomorrow I will

Start to break free

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Your theme is strong. Your structure is relatively sturdy. Your narrative and imagery are respectively good. But you kind of fall flat on your musicality, which is a major factor in poetry. The first stanza is perfect as is, the second stanza could use a tweak in Lines 2 and 4 so the musicality can better flow (one syllable from each should be taken out). But stanzas 3 and 4 need not major tweaking, but also not minor......it simply needs some touch ups on the musicality, which should flow relatively like the first, since the first is what sets the mood and the flow of the entire piece. If you plan to modulate (which you don't have to here, but it would be good to know), make sure the musicality flows nicely into it, otherwise it sounds rather off. Well done!