Silver Stars

The stars are the only witness to mankind's self wrought destruction.

Silver Stars

Stars hang in the night sky

these silver stars

they watch from afar

as mankind dutifully destroys and damns itself

These silent, silver stars watch

they watch as we bury ourselves in lies

our raging rivers flow red

our once blue skies have become black

the once lushes earth is dead

man’s self-decimating bullet ruptured its head

These silent, sobbing, silver stars watch

they watch the fires rage

born from natural and unnatural origins

the stars see it all

they can do nothing more than watch man’s fall

These sorrowful, silent, sobbing, silver stars watch

they watch from afar

they watch nothing more than black skies

they watched as the birthplace of mankind was eradicated

and man’s hate had at last been abated.

 

Reviews

[Beau Maysey]

I like this poem, very nice look at human's self destruction because of our own malice. I enjoyed the sound associations going on, the alliteration at work. I've never actually thought of the stars as silver, but I guess I haven't looked at them quite right. One thing I'd suggest is to tweak one or two of the lines slightly to allow for a better rhythm in the poem. Also, perhaps change the last word, "sated". Until that point, the 's' sound had been associated with goodness, with sympathy, with the stars, but this brings it down to earth, to a sort of monstrous satisfaction. Maybe it could be "abated", instead. Just a thought. Nice job with this! :)

[WhereItResides]

I'll look into tweaking some of the lines. I think your right, abated probably will work a bit better with the poem, I'll change it. Thanks for the review!

[Emily]

Love the meaning! Well done!!

[Bright Ocean Star]

I was drawn in to read this one again, and I still love it. I am saving it into my favorites. Thank you for sharing it with us...

[Bright Ocean Star]

I like the whole concept for this poem; the stars suspended overhead watching our missteps and brutality. Mankind is full of bloodshed and violence. Our history is one of wars and killing. The stars see this on the grande scale...genocide. How awful that must be to watch. Thank you for sharing this work. It has a good flow and meter. One thing: should lushes be lush? I don't know. The more you read it, the more it sinks deeply into your soul. It is powerful. thanks again.

[WhereItResides]

Thanks for the review! Lushes is a play on words. I want people to think of lush but also lushes is also a drinking word for someone who gets drunk to fast, which explains mankind in more way than one. Thanks again for the review and I am glad you enjoyed it!

[Bright Ocean Star]

Awesome play on words. That didn't even occur to me. I was thinking you meant luscious, and just misspelled it. Very nice. :)