Chapter One: Farewell

       The giant red ball that was the sun had long since begun its accent when a family on the outskirts of Malwe began to celebrate the birth of one of its members. Malwe itself was a small village that was situated next to the Great Diving Range in the Empire of Annarab. It was home to all the lumberjacks on the west side of the mountains and was a place where the very few merchants and travelers stayed after their journey through the mountain pass. However, most of the travelers and merchants traveled directly to Bluennien after coming out of the mountains because it was a more profitable and populated city. However, nobody would have expected that an extraordinary thing was about to begin in this small village with the celebration of the 17 year since the birth of a baby boy. This event would start a revolution that would change not only the land of Annarab but all the other lands in all of Iszaria.

 

          "Ushnar," lulled a woman's soft voice in which silence followed.

          "Ushnar, honey, wake up. Today is your seventeenth birthday; you know what that means, don't you?" the woman asked in a motherly tone.

          "Yes. Today I become a man." a boy mumbled tiredly from underneath the multiple wool covers that were spread across the bed of a small room that was scarcely furnished with a bed, a wardrobe, a desk, and a small table. The room had one window that was opened to let in the cool morning breeze.

          " Yes, honey, today you become a man. But before we can celebrate, you must do your chores." she said kindly but with authority as she left the room to resume cooking breakfast. The smell of bacon, fresh biscuits, and eggs blended as they wafted up the stairs and caused Ushnar's stomach to growl with hunger.  

          "I know, I know." Ushnar said as he climbed out of bed to be greeted by a cold gust of wind and found himself right back in the warm embrace of the covers.

          "Ushanr,  get up and do your chores quickly so that we may go into town and buy food for supper today." The woman yelled up the stairs to Ushnar who was dozing off in his bed again.

          Grudgingly he got up, pulled on trousers and a shirt, and went downstairs to start his chores. When he left his room everything was the same as when he had woken up, except that the window was now closed. He went through the kitchen to grab a quick drink before he would go outside to perform the various tasks of tending to the animals, chopping wood for the fire, and picking the weeds out of the garden. In the kitchen, his mother had already set out a glass of cold water and even a biscuit for him on the table.

          "Thanks mom." Ushnar said graciously as he wolfed down the bread and then washed it down with the glass of water.

          "You're welcome." she said and turned around to get a look at her son. Ushnar was medium height for his age with longish blonde hair and sea blue eyes. His skin was a bronze color from being outside most of the time. He was skinny and very muscular with high cheeks and a long nose that was a little crooked as if it had seen many doors in its few years. His mother smiled contently thinking of how handsome he was. Ushnar's mother however, was short and plump with a short curved nose. At a first glance, one would not guess they were related but after closer examination one could see that they shared the same stunningly beautiful eyes and blonde hair. They also shared the same awkward mouth that didn't quite fit with the rest of their appearances but didn't make them ugly. Actually, it made them both handsome.

          "Ushnar, if you run now you could probably catch your father before he makes it to the forest." she said as Ushnar finished his quick meal. Ushnar quickly finished his meal, and the sprinted out of the house and towards the forest where his father was traveling to cut more trees for the small village, if you could call it that, that was to be placed at the end of the mountain pass for weary travelers. Ushnar father was a lumberjack like all of the other residents of Malwe. There was a time when the forest reached all the way to Malwe, but in time the lumberjacks had cut in all away and left a grassy field littered with rotting stumps. When the forest had been cut almost in half King Desmond decreed that the forest on either side of the Great Dividing Range would not be harvested for trees until it had time to re-grow to its original state. However, when his son, Damian, took the throne following his death the decree was made null and the tree cutting resumed.

          Outside Ushnar could see his father in the distance as he walked swiftly towards the looming forest.

          "Dad!" Ushnar yelled, "Dad! Dad, wait!" His father, Parcel, turned around mildly surprised and waited for his son. He was tall and skinny and has the same facial features as Ushnar but his eyes were a jade color instead of the sea blue of Ushnar's. He stood smiling as his son stopped in front of him panting for breath after sprinting to catch up with him. "Dad before you go, I just wanted to say goodbye. You know that I always say good-." Ushnar said quickly and between breaths.

          "Son, Slow down and catch your breath first. I can't even understand you, you're talking so fast." his dad cut in before Ushnar could go any farther. A few moments of hard breathing from Ushnar passed between them before Ushnar started again.

          "I just wanted to say goodbye like I always do before you left for work." Ushnar said, "Why didn't you wait to tell me goodbye today?"

          "Son, you were asleep and I had to leave early. Besides, it's your birthday and I wanted you to get more sleep." his father explained.

          "But dad, I wanted you to wake me up to tell me goodbye." Ushnar complained.

          "Ushnar, That's enough; It's only a goodbye. I'll be back in a few hours. It's not that important." Parcel said loudly and irritably.

          "It's important to me. It reassures me. You know that your job is more dangerous now that you and the other lumberjacks have been pressed to finish clearing the area for the village. I just want to know that I had seen you one last time just in case-." Ushnar said.

          "Son..." his father interrupted again, "I'm not going to get hurt despite the recent pressure from the King. Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself." He looked directly into his son's eyes, as he said this, to say what he could put to words.

          "Dad, I just don't know what I would do without you." Ushnar said putting all the emotion he could into the sentence to make his father understand while ignoring the look he gave him.

          "Son, don't worry about me. I won't always be there for you and now that you're a man you had best make peace with it." Ushnar's father said putting much effort into keeping his voice down.

          "But dad-."Ushnar began.

          "No. That's it, I'm already late." he said ending the conversation.

          He kissed his son on the head, said happy birthday again and told him to be ready to work with him tomorrow, and turned and left his son standing in the field. Ushnar was irritated at how his father just couldn't understand how much he meant to him. He wouldn't be able to stand being fatherless, not yet anyway, whether he was a man or not. Pouting, he started toward the house and his remaining chores. Once finished he joined his mother and brother, Franklin, at breakfast before heading to town with his mom while Franklin went off to work. After he finished, Franklin would go help Parcel in the forest.   

            

          

 

 

Author's Note

note grammar problems, tell me what was good and what was bad

Reviews

[megaluv92]

man...his dad's a jerk. i really liked the way you began the story. i could see everything that was going on. good job! ♥

[Frederick E. Conkling]

This is a really interesting piece. I didn't see any grammar errors, but keep up the good work.

[Taylor H]

good

[Taylor H]

thats good

[Taylor H]

~ "Ushnar, honey. Wake up. Today is your seventeenth birthday. You know what that means, don't you?" the woman asked in a motherly tone. --> replace some of the periods with commas or semi colons

~" Yes, honey, today you become a man.--> close the space between " and yes

~ The smell of bacon, fresh biscuits, and eggs blended together as they wafted up the stairs and caused Ushnar's stomach to growl with hunger. --> get rid of the word together, "eggs blended as they..."

~"Ushanr, get up and do your chores quickly so that--> close the space between the comma and get

~At a first glance one would not guess they were related but after closer examination one could see that they shared the same stunningly beautiful eyes and blonde hair--> comma after glance

~"Son. Slow down and catch your breath first. --> id make it a comma and not a period after son

~I can't even understand you, your talking so fast.--> your should be you're

~"But dad. I wanted you to wake me up to tell me goodbye." --> should be comma instead of period after dad

~"Ushnar. That's enough. It's only a goodbye. --> Ushnar, thats enough; It's only a goodbye

~Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself." He looked --> should be semi colon after me instead of period

~ "Dad. I just don't know what I would do without you."--> should be comma instead of period after dad

~ Ushnar said putting all the emotion he could into the sentence to make his father understand while ignoring the look he gave him.--> comma after emotions

other then the grammar errors this was good chapter. Its very interstion so far. If you were to get something publsihed you would just need a good editor. thats it