Chapter Two: Vision

It turned out to be a beautiful day. Ushnar thought as he and his mother strolled through town going in and out various food shops. It was clear and pleasantly warm. There was a faint breeze that blew through Ushnar's shirt keeping him cool while bringing the scent of flowers, which pleased his nose, to him from across the road. It truly was turning out to be a wonderful day. Only when his mother spoke did he realize that he had been daydreaming about the flower girl that had caught his interest since he was a little boy.

          "-they are nice indeed. What do you think Ushnar?" his mother asked turning to look at him.

          "W-what... W-why yes they are." Ushnar jumbled together as he snapped back to reality.

          "You weren't listening were you." his mother said not a question but a fact.

          "Listening to wh-" Ushnar started before he caught himself and quickly said, "Yes I was, I caught everything you said mother."

          "Oh really, and what exactly did Glacin here think about these flowers?" his mom asked innocently. It was then that Ushnar realized that they had been joined by his best friend and that they had moved from the smokehouse to the flower shop to admire the bouquets that Sarah, the flower girl had made that morning. Ushnar started at this realization. "I didn't think you knew." his mother commented triumphantly.

          Glacin Narbai had been Ushnar's best friend ever since he could remember and had been cradle buddies when his mother or Glacin's mother, Krystal, were out somewhere and needed someone to watch their children. Glacin had blonde hair just like Ushnar but that was where any resemblance ended. Unlike Ushnar, Glacin was tall, muscular, and had green eyes. He was also considerably broader than Ushnar in such a way that two Ushnars would equal about one Glacin. In essence, Glacin was big. However, the saying goes, "All brawn, no brain." was true for Glacin because he had not an ounce of common sense in his mountainous body. Even so, he was the truest and best friend that anyone could ever wish to have. Ushnar felt truly lucky and blessed that he happened to have such a friend.

          "Oh, Hey Glacin." Ushnar said in greeting to his large friend. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

          "Well, I didn't think I would have to. I mean I'm not that easy to miss." Glacin said with his deep voice. He was right. He really isn't that easy to miss. Ushnar thought silently at his own embarrassment. Ushnar had to crane his neck up almost completely vertical just so that he might see his face.

          "You're right; I guess I'm just blind."

          "I guess you are." Glacin laughed with a deep laugh that came from the bottom of his belly and erupted out of his mouth like a bass drum.

          "Oh, be quiet. You're enough to wake the dead with you loud laughing." Ushnar complained only causing him to laugh even more. Although Ushnar resisted giving into laughing, he just couldn't find enough energy to. Glacin always had a way of turning every situation whether good or bad into something more uplifting and better, not to mention hilarious.

          When the laughing had finally subsided, Ushnar's mother began to speak.

          "Glacin, is your mother in town with you?"

          "Yeah,"

          "Do you know where she is?"

          "Um... I think she's at the butcher's getting a roast for supper because it's my birthday." he responded with a smile. Of course, it was his birthday. Ushnar and Glacin had been born on the same day and close to the same time. That's how their parents had met. The doctor had to run in between their house the night they were born and it caused him a right bit of frustration which he took out on their fathers. Eventually, after the children were born, Ushnar's and Glacin's parents went out in search for the other so that they might know who had caused them stress that night. As it turned out their fathers worked together on many occasions to bring down some unusually large trees. Ever since then, their families have been really close, almost like one big family.

          "Why?" Ushnar inquired to his mother.

          "Oh, we girls just have some talking to do." she said slyly. "Why don't you and Glacin spend some time together and meet me and Krystal in market square at noon." she suggested.

          "OK." Ushnar and Glacin replied simultaneously. Ushnar's mother smiled and walked off towards the butcher's shop.  

          "Well, it looks like it's just me and you." Glacin said pointing out the obvious.

          "Yeah, but I wonder what they're up to." Ushnar said suspiciously. Suddenly, a muscular man, pulling a cart filled with as much chopped wood as it could possibly carry, slipped causing the top-heavy cart to topple over when he attempted to catch his balance on the handle. As the cart made its swift voyage to the ground, Ushnar realized that he and his big friend were in the direct path of the falling wood. By the time Ushnar had realized that this wood had become a dangerous threat, it was too late. Ushnar yelled and faintly heard his big friend do the same as endless amounts of sharp pieces of wood cascaded towards them like a landslide. Ushnar quickly turned his head and raised his arms to protect his face thinking that he might at least try to save something. It seemed as if an eternity passed before something happened and, oddly, it wasn't the wood. A bright light flashed and a woman's face appeared before him with smile that reached from ear to ear. The woman's face was soft and white making her hard to make out in the blinding light. However, he did make out her eyes as if they were a fire in the night. They were the same color as the sea, the same color as her mother's. For a second he thought he had lost consciousness and was coming around and thing began to get darker. The woman before her moved her mouth as if to speak but Ushnar couldn't make out any of the words.

          A second later, he found himself cowering under the sun with no imminent danger anywhere. He straightened himself and looked at his surroundings. He saw many of the townsfolk looking at him oddly and some even whispering among themselves. Ushnar's cheeks flushed and he felt his cheeks get hot with embarrassment. He turned to Glacin to see if he was blushing as well but found him to be one of the one's staring at him as if he were a lunatic.

          "Stop staring at me." Ushnar hissed.

          "Are you ok?" Glacin asked slowly.

          "I'm fine." Ushnar snapped. After looking around at the crowd still gazing at him he added "Can we leave now?"

          Glacin nodded and with Ushnar leading the way, they made their way hastily to market square to meet up with their mothers for lunch.      

 

Author's Note

be honest, I want everything

Reviews

[Frederick E. Conkling]

This is a well done piece. Well written, descriptive. All in all this has me this has me interested.

[megaluv92]

i really liked this, but i felt that there wasn't as much description as in the first chapter. idk...maybe you wanted it that way. anyways..it was great. i can't wait to read more. ♥

[Taylor H]

~keeping him cool while bringing the scent of flowers, that pleased his nose,---> which pleased his nose

~ "W-what? W-why yes they are." ---> maybe instead of the question mark after what? you should put ...

~ "Oh really. And what exactly did Glacin here think about these ---> a comma instead of a period


~ He was also considerably more broad ---> more broad should be broader

~ You're right, I guess I'm just blind."---> semi colon after right


~ resisted giving into laughing he just couldn't find enough energy to. ---> comma after laughing

~ "Yeah."---> comma instead of a period


~ Of course it was his birthday.---> comma afer of course

~ The doctor kept having to run in between their house the night they were born---> kept having should be had

~ it could possibly carry, slipped causing the top heavy cart to topple over ---> top-heavy

~ A second later he found himself cowering under the sun with ---> comma after later

~ Glacin nodded and with Ushnar leading the way they made their way ---comma after the first way.

[Autumn Twilight]

So far you have a good start but I think you should add more description to place they're in so we could have an understanding of the environment. I know you'll probably get to it later but could you have more description of Ushnar. He seems a bit vague even though he's the main character.

[Shannon]

I'm not real good at the whole review thing, so here it goes. It has a great start, and I'm curious to know what happens next, so keep going.