Here Is Where

I don't know where to go

My goal just got bigger

My soul just got darker

I sought my whole life

I tried my best, until I gave up

To rebel

To reveal the truth

Truth be told though

I don't have a truth

I only have myself to laugh at

Myself to trouble

So now I'm stumbling over branches

Tripping over rocks

To see the truth

We are selfish

Offensive

We are greedy

Needy

We believe we can eat paper

We are loyal caretakers

Only for the sake of our own little worlds

Here is where I ask a common question

Here is where it only seems to mean a lot to me

Here is where whatever you tell me

I'll know if you really know

“Why am I here?”

Here is where no one has an answer

Here is where the glaces taken don't replace

Here is where we take to the door of our world

Here is where air stays

No one knows you

No one see's you

No one tells the truth

Even if they truly believe it

Reviews

[TLK]

This really takes me on a journey. I am not yet sure from where, or where to, but I've definitely thought like this. Anyone who imagines the world as having to be something more than it plainly is has thought like this.

I have been caught up on the line "we believe we can eat paper". This makes me think of so much: pica (an eating disorder), a quick trick for weight loss, the self-delusion of the obsessed and/or starving. It is an interesting way of summing up so many ways to turn yourself into something poisonous and demanding.

The theme is, I would offer, "our little worlds". You have travelled so far and so long just to find out that you are still in your own little corner of our shared universe... and you look out at everyone still safely behind their door, ignorant.



In terms of the actual writing, there are a few tiny errors that didn't detract at all. I thought the lack of punctuation was excellent, and gave the piece a sense of stumbling that belied the hidden rhythms you've formed with the line breaks. I'd take this poem over a thousand awkward attempts at achieving technical excellence.

Actions speak louder than words: SUBSCRIBED.

[Admiral Kirk]

Ahh, this is very cool. :D I love the freeform style, because it is utterly un-critiqueable. Nice write. :D

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Good read and write.

[Time's The Bond]

Thanks a bunch! You're the first review in months!! Haha