an ache of a poem. I've become such a hardened old thing. Perhaps a dragon. No tears here. but this poem if I were one to cry would make me weep with emotion.
How can I, critique something, which is, so right, beyond sighing. Hoping, someday, I can write something, like this. If I'm lucky. Thank you, Willweb, for sharing this poem, with us.
Thank you so very much Benita. I am happy you enjoyed this one.
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9 Years Ago
I found this through the contest Emotions you have felt. I sent the admin a message asking about the.. read moreI found this through the contest Emotions you have felt. I sent the admin a message asking about the group but no answer back :( I was wanting to know more about it. thank you for sharing. Blessings. Benita
The last line just takes the cake [with semantic icing, and consonant cherries no less!!]
ps, forgive me, if I am wrong, but did you mean "[hopes] for future"?
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
You are correct and thank you so much, I have made that change. I don't know how that slipped past m.. read moreYou are correct and thank you so much, I have made that change. I don't know how that slipped past me...must have been my blurred vision. :)
I liked your use of simili. Your flow was smooth and easy to understand. Well who would understand a poet well than the poet itslef? :p
This is a beautiful writing. I liked it :)
ur thoughts r very good. U express well, only thing is, that this poem of urs has an abrupt end. c how u can build on it and end it with a soft touch. Love to read more of ur stuff. Keep posting. Regards.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks so much June. Abrupt endings seem to be my forte.
Hi, I am willweb. Maybe you remember me and maybe you don't. I have been writing here on and off for years. I pop in and write and read and comment and make friends and learn new things.
I enjoy maki.. more..