Why? (Colorful Version)

Venting. To see the normal version, go here: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Wingedwolflover/1023236/

            My heart...

      it cannot take so much pain...  

 

            People ignore me...

                     walk right past me...

 

            Am I just a ghost...

                             meant to be forgotten?

Did I do something to earn myself this torture?

Or are they simply cruel people, who get pleasure out of my pain?

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

              Anger, red hot anger...

         envelops me like fire...

only to be replaced by sadness...

        Darkness flows over me...

       hiding me...

               helping me escape the hurt...

                    the sting of this endless cruelty.

           Yet I cannot truly escape it...

I merely ignore their taunts, finding solace in but two things:

           Friendship and the shadows.

Both support me, though in different ways.

     My friends give me something else to think about.

     The shadows give me a place to hide...

           and to heal...

Is being an outcast really that bad?

Is it the horrible lonliness it is associated with?

          Or is it just a title...

                          just a way to lable you, to know who and what you are?

So many questions, so many options, so many choices.

How to choose one?

           Should I let my path

     be made for me?

           Or should I clear my own way,

                    making it truly mine?

So many thoughts, swirling around my head...

So many torturous experiences affecting my future...

They swirl, until they are a jumbled mess of emotion

and pain.

Why must I endure this?

Why must I carry the burden?

Why must I be punished like this?

--------------------------------------------------------------

           Do I belong in the shadows

                                where none can hurt me?

               Or do I belong in the open ridicule,

                                              a sitting duck...

And an easy target.

           Is this all my fault?

    Did I do something wrong?

           Am I doing something wrong now?

    Right this instant?

Could it truly be me?

So many hopes and dreams, shattered, the painful shards laying on the floor.

So many memories, injuring my future and my life, more painful than the shattered hopes and

crushed dreams.

         The recipe for my ultimate

                demise.

         Am I to welcome death with o p e n arms,

     embracing its cold?

         Or should I rebel, and give myself a chance, no matter how minor?

So much confusion in my soul, filling my heart with sadness.

Is this the life I'm to live, with everyone laughing at me, mocking me?

Am I to just let my shell be broken d

                   o

                     w

                                 n,

          and my defenses destroyed?

          Is fighting back such a horrid crime?

Why must I endure this?

Why must I carry the burden?

Why must I be punished like this?

What did I do wrong to deserve this?

Reviews

[Melody]

Nobody has ever really done anything to deserve anything, especially not bad. Being an outcast, it is a label-a title...But don't give into it. Let it make you stronger.

Beautiful poem. I feel like it's something that should be framed and put on a wall. It's really good. While it points out obvious questions given to people- it answers them. You wrote it like nobody else would have, great job.

[Gretchen Clarke]

I'm glad you say that. I know it is, I was just venting from when I didn't.
You really think I should print and frame it? I didn't know it was THAT good. I'm a bit of a beginner poet, you know?
Thank you, Melody. Any poems of yours you might reccomend?

[Melody]

^_^ It's a piece to be proud of, Gretchen.
Not specifically, no. :)

[Gretchen Clarke]

:D Thank you a million more times!
OK.

[Melody]

Lol. You're welcome.

[several thousand]

The colorful version is fantastic. The layout and colors really add a whole new dimension to your already excellent poem. Enjoyable read - Well done.

[CLUTZ]

When you said colorful I can honestly say this is not what I was expecting...but I do love the bright colors.

[Gretchen Clarke]

Heheh. Did you think I meant colorful language?
Thanks!

[CLUTZ]

Sadly yes I did, sometimes I revert back to middle school....& you are welcome.

[Gretchen Clarke]

Dat's okay. 'Sides, I don't use 'colorful' language, unless being angry counts as 'colorful'. XD

[CLUTZ]

lol