It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all...

a tragic short story about a women with a broken heart pushed to drastic measures, if only she had taken the time to listen.

Darkness fell, quickly and quietly suffocating the sun, smothering it in its bitter black arms. I felt a hollowness in my chest, almost as if someone had ripped out my heart. The emptiness coursed through me. It had consumed my mind. I felt dead. My limbs heavy, filled with lead, effects of the crushing despair of a shattered heart. Sanity was scarcely there, flittering across the fringes of my mind. His image burned into my brain. Every time I close my weary eyes, his face flashed and his voice roared in my deadened ears. His aroma, a clean masculine musk, drifted up and tickled my nose, warm, strong and manly, though he had not been near me for some time. I felt my stomach drop with every thought of him. I ached to be near him. I loved him…

I slowly sank down, settling into my faded red, grimy arm chair. Dust rose around me as I collapsed, tear streaming down my face, sobs wracking my frail body, shaking and unable to pull in breath over the weeping.   Seeing him everyday was more then I could bear. I must end it…

As the light filtered in to the dim, dingy room through the splintered, smutty window pane, exposing the dust suspended in the air. My eyes flicked open, hardly incapable of coming to reality, dried tears still clinging to my parched cracked cheeks. Weeks of crying has taken any beauty away they once held. I felt a grave stillness fall over me, like the calm before the storm. I knew what I must do, the sooner the better. The idea bloomed in my mind. Growing and imbedding itself in my brain till I could think of nothing else. It seemed as if it had always been there, waiting for the right moment to surface. It was beyond horrible yes, cringing at the thought. I loved him, could I really do something that vile to the man I once love? I looked at my rough hand, gripping them into a loose fist. I closed my eyes. Could I really do such an awful thing? But now that the idea had entered my head, I couldn’t make it leave. I had no choice. It must be done. The remnants of my dream flashed before my eyes, quick blurs of color, replaying the scene I knew I would soon reenact. I prayed for a way to change my mind, some sort of sign that I didn’t have to do such a monstrous deed.

Hopping a walk in the sun would alter my mindset; I slowly stood up and stumbled to the door. Gripping the rusty handle I pushed it open, jumping at the eerie squeak it emitted. I stepped out into the sunlight, rubbing my arms for the glow did nothing to warm the cold fear that had entered my heart. I closed my eyes, feeling the sun beat down on my pale skin, allowing it to soak into my veins. I licked my thin chapped, withered lips, tasting the cool crisp autumn air. A slight breeze, pranced through the leave and circled around me, gently flowing over my bare arms and moistened lips. I took a long, shaky breath, feeling the coldness seep into my lungs and still my racing heart. Standing here, I felt at peace. I don’t have to do this, I rationalized. I could hear the wind, whispering in the distance and the birds chirping somewhere far off. They were almost taunting me, mocking me with their beautiful love songs but I pushed them out of my mind.

I began to walk and found myself wandering into the town square. I roamed the streets, taking in the sights. The hustle and bustle of the people was deafening, my ears were filled with their indistinct chatter. Part of me wanted to run away from it all, it was too overwhelming; along with the fear I would see him.

Then the faint smell of chlorine rose up out of the jumble of scents. It was faint, hardly noticeable but alarms went off in my mind. He was here. I glanced around, panicked, looking for the source of the stench. I stopped, heart pounding in my ears, unable to move. I wanted to run, hide, anything but see him again, I tried to calm down. Many people had pools; it didn’t have to be him. The reek grew stronger, the sickly acidic smell of chlorine mixed with an aromatic manly musk. The kind that only came after a long swim practice. A scent only he carried. A scent I knew very well. A scent I used to love. He was here. I heard heavy footsteps. I knew they were his.

I turned quickly, our eyes met. Looking deep into his eyes, I could see the hate and loathing pour out. Then something flashed. Sadness, remorse, regret, but only for a few moments then it slipped away. His face set hard and cold as he continued walking. I felt faint, black spots clouding my vision.

 I saw him walk to a rusty red brick wall then rest his large muscular frame against it, in his hand a bright red rose.  He seemed to be waiting for someone. Then I saw her. A girl, wrapped in a short low cut shimmering red dress, sashaying towards him. His face lit up when he saw her. She looked at him, warm and friendly. There was an attraction between them. He slowly placed a hand on her delicate hip and pulled her close. She giggled and danced away. A small smiled played on his lips as he raised an eyebrow. She brushed her hand along his jawbone and a silent moan escaped from his lips. She giggled again. I could hear both their voices blending together. His low steady and strong with a hint of lust and hers, higher, flirty, bubbly, feminine, laced with a sort of sexiness and risqué. I could smell them both, him with his strong manly musk and her, sweet as if embalmed with the faint scent of roses and lavender.  She had a soft, innocent flawless complexion. Her big, brown, trusting eyes glittered in the sunlight. Her long, sweeping amber brown hair fell over her face obscuring her identity. It flowed down her back, a golden honey brown waterfall, cascading around her and pooling at the length of her back. She had a small, pixie like frame. He towered over her, strong and muscular, sweat beading on his forehead.  He was tall, rough and rugged.  His face flushed and his eyes calm but focused. He smirked in my direction, taunting me. He reached up, ran hand his hand through his short bleached hair and chuckled. She giggled and leaned against him.

I could not stand the torture a moment longer. As I turned to leave, I caught, out of the corner of my eye, him pulling her close. He rested his head against her forehead and closed his eyes and he slowly exhaled. She nestled close into his chest and smiled.  His had reached up and brushed her cheek. He slowly leaned down towards her. I turned away before I could see them kiss. I gritted my teeth and ran. I could not stand him haunting me like this. My mind was made up. I knew what I must do… Tonight…

As I walked home, trough the dusty wooded path, tears blurring my vision, the sky began to darken. Lightning flashed, zigzagging across the sky, and thunder clapped angrily, leaving the earth trembling before it. Thick dark clouds billowed up, smothering the sun in an obscure gray sheet and dropping the heavens until they hung low in a suffocating, mummifying heap, pressing closer and closer, threatening to engulf the earth in an ominous, writhing mass. The wind blew menacingly, tearing at the trees furiously, pulling at the leaves and flinging them mercilessly about. It spun them in an intricate dance until it grew bored and tossed them away. The wind sung out a hunting tune of sorrow and betrayal. It sounded much like the faint cries of a dying child to its mother, abandoned and alone, knowing full well that she will never return. Heart-broken and full of anguish it calls out, its words garbled by the sobs barely escaping its throat, expressing the exact emotion that haunted my soul.         

I turned and ran back in the other direction, back into the town square. It had to be done. It had to be done now.  There was a sense of evil lingering in the air. It was a suffocating sensation, as if the wind had been knocked out of me. A feeling of dread settled over me. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. The closer I got to the square the more anxious I became. My heart sped up; eyes darted back and forth, feeling the adrenalin pouring in my system. It took all her self-control not to turn around, knowing that I would never get chance like this.  I slowed as I entered the square. It was completely deserted. The dark, shabby buildings stood, tall, so remarkable. I continued to move, the scenery blurring around me. I turned corner after corner, looking for him. A saw a glittering red smear as I relentlessly kept running.

Then I saw him. He was sitting, leaning against the brick wall. Tears were running down his face. He dropped his head into his hands. For a moment I faltered, but then regained my senses. I walked towards him, rain beginning to fall. His shoulders shook with sobs and lamentation. Strolling up to him, I pushed him back, shock filling his face. His eyes were full of regret and sadness. I pushed him again; his head smacked the wall with a sickening thud. He didn’t resist. His body slouched over and he cried and looked up at me. I pushed him to the ground, so he laid flat on his back. Blood oozed out of the back of his head. The rain continued to pour. I shivered with the cold of the rain. I could feel it strike my back, running over my body. It dripped down my face, mixing with tears. I placed my hand against his chest, feeling his strong heart beat. I scream tore from my lungs as I plunged my hand deep into his chest. His body jerked, and he coughed, sputtering blood. He still didn’t resist. I felt his warm blood gush out of the wound, coating my arms and legs as I knelt over him. It was thick, with a strong nauseating odor. He coughed again, choking on his own blood. My hand touched his heart. I felt it beat against my palm. I lightly griped it. He jerked again. The heart beat faster and faster. His blood was everywhere now. I slowly pulled up on the heart, lifting it from his chest. He moaned with agony. Then he slowly reached up, with extreme effort and brushed my cheek as I tightened my fist. A grunt escaped from his lips and his hand dropped. I felt the life leave him as the heart crushed in my iron grasp. He jerked for a last time, and then his final breath left him. As it did, it sounded like he spoke. I could have sworn he whispered I love you.

I stood slowly, releasing the heart from my grip, the water washing away the blood. I knelt again and kissed his forehead, then closed his eyes. I took the golden chain the hung around his neck, inscribed with his name. Then with I final kiss, I stood and left. The blood had completely been washed away by the rain. Tears still clouded my sight. As I walked the way I came, I was what the glittering red blur from before. It was the girl he had been with before. She was suspended by a rope, dead and lifeless. Death by suicide. In her cold fist a red rose was clamped, a white note around the stem. I reached up and pried it out of her grasp, her hand cracking. I opened the note and to my surprise, it read; I am deeply sorry but my heart belongs to another. I wish I had realized soon for I have hurt her. I am afraid she will no longer want me but I must try. I hope you can understand. I love her, more than any other and the knowledge that I have ripped her heart out of her chest is more then I than I can bear. I truly hope you understand, but I can never be with you as long as I love her.

I collapsed under her, crying. If only I had known. I stood, placed the necklace around my neck, the note in my pocket and walked into the forest, looking for the high ledge I knew was there. It would serve my purpose rather well, I suppose. It’s a shame three had to die tonight. 

Reviews

[Incandescence]

That was deep. And amazing. Nope, amazing isn't the word. There isn't the correct word for how amazingly detailed and emotional this story is. I was captivated by the words you have written so nicely. I still wonder, why can't there be writing like this in books? You have detailed it well, created a disturbing and unique ending and the plot was unique in its own common way. You used no dialogue which means extra points and on a final note: you are an amazing writer; keep writing! :)

[Omegax45]

Wow. Just...wow. As I was reading this, I was thinking of something else for the ending. I did not expect this. Amazing work, I must say. Bravo, bravo.

[northern monkey]

Dark, descriptive, gripping intensity. Powerful writing. Great writing for thrillers and suspense. Good job. Keep it coming.

[Coyote Poetry]

The story had a cold and hard edge to it. The description took me to dark and bad time. I like the detail and events in the story. I like the woman emotion and how she looks at her world. A sad ending to a excellent story. What is based on a location?
Coyote

[Dilan Gray]

That gave me goosebumps. It was really intense and very vivid. It was tragic and beautiful, I really liked it! You gave great descriptions of the scenery and paint the picture well with your words. I really loved it. Your writing is incredible!