Secret Response

This girl...

The night you left                                                                      The day she left

I cried                                                                                                        I moped

And cried                                                                                               And moped.

And closed my eyes                                                                                 And moped.

Yet stayed awake 

Cause behind those lids

Was the look on your face

The day after                                                                                       The day after.

I cried                                                                                                       I moped.

Etc.                                                                                                                Etc.

You left me surrounded by your things.               She left, and everything, reminds me of her.

Smelled like you.                                                                                           Smells.

Felt like you do.                                                                                            Sights.

Feeling right.                                                                                Feeling comfortable.

Yet wrong.

Being awake, young                                                               Being tired, happy, or sad.

In love

All because of you and the few memories we made 

                                                                   It all comes back to her and something we've done together.

Mountain Dew, tastes like you.                                                Soda? I wish I could share.

Pizza ? Where's the ketchup ?                                                                   Food, share.

Nicotine scent fills the are.                                                                        Cigarette.

                                                                                                                                                         Share.

Blankets feel cold since you're not there.                                                Blanket share.

Your arms around me, dreams we shared.                                               Arms, hold her.

Lips connected                                                                                      Lips,kiss her.

It all goes back to you.                                                        Everything goes back to her.

What you now know                                                                    What you don't know.

Because I wrote

Is every time I hear your name                                          Is, every time I hear your name,

I'm reminded you don't feel the same.

How does your heart feel ?                                                         My heart, feels like s**t.

I don't know if I want to see you.                            Because I won't see you until November.

It hurts to know you are not mine. 

And I f*****g hate it.                                                                    And I f*****g hate it.

I hate you being far beyond me.                                                      I hate you being far

So. F*****g. Far.                                                                                So. f*****g. Far.

I hate this. With everything                                                    I hate this. With everything

We had.                                                                                                       I have.

Author's Note

She wrote the right poem. And I think it's about me. It sure sounds like it. So, without her knowing, I took it and wrote back. <3

Reviews

[Bailey C. Writing]

It's interesting to see the two different sides, it's a different way to write a poem. I like it, and I like the intensity of both side's feelings...good job

[paradise]

I like it and the whoel left side girl right side boy its an interesting set up and neat

[MYSELF]

A very innovative way of writing and reading it both ways separately and combined is such a great pleasure.

The answers given about the girls questions and all the more showed the understanding and similarity in love and affection held..

Very nice

MYLIFE

[CadeeRine]

Wow..I read this both sides seperately then together. It's amazing and something about it pulls you in to both sides. Great write and very Unique!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice set-up on this poem. Emotion can twist us up and with no place to go but a bad one. I like the many questions in the poem and the strong ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Very interesting.............loved the way you showed how the two went through all these terrible yearning emotions. Bravo!

[Raven Starhawk]

This is certainly unlike anything I have ever read before. ^^* I liked how one column sets up for each response. I also thought the responses given were at first cute but then as the poem progresses this reader sees the longing for the return of a loved one and how it has deeply affected you.

[Tasha]

Wow, this was really good and I enjoyed reading it. I liked how you made it look like two poems, that was different and I liked it. Well done.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[Thea]

Good poem! I enjoyed reading it... :)))

[tynamite]

I like how when I read this, it doesn't feel like I'm reading the same poem twice.