~ Soft Whispers

~ Soft Whispers, Elisa Laura, Dark, Fantasy, Ambient, Dreams, Dream Visions, Night Walks

~ Soft Whispers

 

 

Soft sounds,

Rippling, like fingers

On a table

 

Long pauses, silence…

Returning rhythms,

The whirl of thoughts

 

Of you in me...

 

I hear you for years,

In nights, like these

 

Before the moon is full,

Do you want 

           To tell me something?

 

“Tell it to me,

            Say it!”

Stop whispering…!

 

You can trust me,

The sea is ours

 

And I was there for centuries,

But your name was the future,

 

Like a mirror of the ocean,

 

Now we will never be

Together, my own soul,

 

My previous life...

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Reviews

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I love the vastness of this poem. It uses references to such a wide expanse as a backdrop and it really is a benefit to what I am feeling that you are meaning. The contrast between vast and specific, centuries of time and things that happen in a moment...the wide expanse of the sea and the specificity of fingers tapping on a table, it all adds to the feeling of the depths of this emotion. You have made me realize something about writing; I need to take an idea from music and use it in my poetry. In musical recordings there is something they call the "Pad" in the background. It is not an instrument. Instead it is the collective "background noise" which the producer/sound engineer has built into a feeling. The Pad includes the echo of a wide opened room, or the immediacy of the feeling the singer is right there in bed with you. All these feelings are part of it. If you hear a seagull just for as second in a song, then you immediately think of that song as taking place at the beach. In the case of this poem, the clever "pad" you set down of vast time depth and wide ranges of distance really supported the themes well.

Truly Ro, such a great review from you my friend, not only do you seem to understand my subconscious, but also, the facts of "lucidity". I think you exactly felt here too. (that's a great combination), and I am truly happy you did. Many thanks these are reviews, I hope for, and will dig your words truly! - Elisa

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Many thanks for your excavations, and may you dig up great treasures, from one archaeologist to another!

You're welcome, I've learnt much today from your point of view. And what a wonderful inspiring words here... may you too!! ;)

[Eric Pudalov]

Robby, I appreciate this review as well! That concept of the "pad" is something I haven't necessarily applied to my poetry before, and yet it seems so important. I remember reading an interview with John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin, and he was talking about the song "Going to California," saying it "sounds like lawn sitting." I think that's part of what you're talking about; the "pad" built into the song gave it the overall feel of someone playing guitar and singing out on a grassy lawn.

Thank you for replying to this......

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I totally agree about Led Zeppelin! This is just what I am talking about!!! It really is possible to do this in poetry. It takes a clear idea of how to lend a feeling to something, but with the smallest of allusions!

[Eric Pudalov]

You know, I may have done it in my poetry without realizing it - I didn't know there was an actual term for it. But I think that creating an "environment," if you will, is part of good storytelling. Perhaps in the next poem that I write/publish on here, I'll keep that in mind.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

It is something I notice that good writers can do, but other writers really can't. It is the art of creating an environment, but then only barely alluding to it. A good writer can give you the barest details, but you still can fill in the rest for yourself. It is a unique ability and I don't know what the word is for it, but it is a way of showing without really even needing to give the details. You have to sense your audience so well that they don't even know what you are slipping into their minds.

[Eric Pudalov]

We had studied something like that in a poetry workshop I took. We did a lesson called "overstatement/understatement," and I decided to go with understatement. I wrote a poem about rape, but never explicitly stated that it was about rape...I just described the feelings between the man and the woman. I think that's what you're talking about, if I'm not mistaken?!

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

That IS what I am talking about! Brilliant use of understatement!! It allows the audience to participate when you leave things out but trust them to fill in the gap!

[ewest1220]

...was I the only one who was rocking back and fourth like a dummy while reading this? I could literally feel the motion of the waves within your writing and yes I literally felt myself being carried away. This is the best thing rhythmically that I've read in a long time. This one earned a favorite from me :-)

I can't thank you enough ewest... I'm glad it took you away for a moment... so good to see you on this one. I'm grateful! xo

[ewest1220]

Wish I had time to review all of your stuff :) it's all great! I'm trying to only do a few a day so I don't get burned out the read requests I was doing before would leave me with 300+ read requests a day XP this was an awesome one to start my time here off with though thank you so much for writing this! Made my day!

Oh so sweet of you, I understand, it can be too much on here, to do, I try my best too, maybe I come over once in a while to do my rounds, RR's I turned off, since I came here, got over a 300 got really stressed by it... it should be relaxed you know? review with pleasure, and no worries, friend, my writing will stay here forever ;) Awe thanks so much, I'm glad I could give you some inspiration dear friend... (that's why I keep on writing), actually this was a real dream... I penned quickly out after... ;) take care! talk soon!

[Lifeofbennard]

I love it so much.
The flow the rhythm. Such a beautiful way to string words together.
Keep penning with your magic pen (:
-lemen

Thank you very much Lemen. Great to see you on my page! :)

[Tom]

Surreal and penned with emotion, a love parted through destiny !

Thank you dearly Tom. I so appreciate your review. Have a nice day! :)

[Foxemerald]

The choice of words in this piece is its greatest distinction. Your choice of metaphors was masterfully used, offering more to the feel and the sentiment of the piece- there seems to be a symbiotic relationship between the emotion of the poem and the words. They flow together smoothly, like small rushes of water offering me a perfect, crystalline, sparkling vision. The amount of sheer love in these simple phrases, are more extraordinary than the ocean in its expanse- beautifully written.

Hi dear! :) so good to see you again, hope all is well, and your trip to Britain was fantastic! thank you for your insightful words, feelings and review here... I've missed your words a lot!
Thank you for all the encouriging words... xx

[Foxemerald]

You are very welcome, Elisa. You have been sorely missed on my part, and my soul longs to read your words once more. I really enjoyed my trip to Britain, but it did take time away from some of the finer aspects of time. Reading your work always helped to inspire me, helping to generate a flow of strong thought. I have been so sorely deprived . . . so good to see you!

Awe, that means so much to me you say this... you know you really encourage me to keep writing, and exploring myself. I was off and on, in the time you were away, but I can't wait to catch up on your writings. So good you're around again! have missed you! xo

[Foxemerald]

Hi there, Elisa,

It is only my pleasure to encourage you. Your writing and your reviews have repaid me in the highest measure- I only wish that I was omniscient. How I would love to be in twenty places at once! I was here periodically throughout the time that I was in London, and since then have been more off then I was on. As soon as I arrived home, I was swept into the tide of my term classes, and missed the excellence of this bubble. Know that I will be devouring more of your work as soon as possible. I have really missed having you around!

Keep in touch,
Brooke ~

Thank you sweetheart Brooke, you make my night here... sweet friend. :) Me too, sometimes it's so rushy, and wished I had wings lol! Don't every worry about my scribbles love, I know you're busy, and you are such a inspiration to me and others... :) We keep in touch, late late here now, 5 Ayem, but must read some more of you as soon as I can, because I'm a true fan! love and hugs, Brooke..x

[Foxemerald]

I am happy to do so Elisa. Reading your name in my inbox always puts a smile on my face, so to grant you any inspiration suits me. And, you flatter me if the night is more illustrious due to my little scrawls. I do hope that your night musings are as beautiful as your work. I will talk to you soon.

Sending you my warmest hugs meanwhile :)

[An owl on the moon]

What a beautiful bliss you weave over the world... like a sweet enchantment of love and light. But the last lines... oh what darkness devours the light in the endless longing for what was.

Oh such a nice review, thank you very much my friend... it's always a pleasure to have you by! :) *smiles across the miles*

[An owl on the moon]

Smiling and waving across the miles here! :)

[Pryde Foltz]

A haunting piece.

And I was there for centuries,
But your name was the future,

Like a mirror of the ocean,

Now we will never be
Together, my own soul,

Deja vu or past knowledge. Great write, Elisa.

Thank you so much Pryde... nice you picked those lines out ;)

[Trace]

WOW, This is soooooo good. I love the depth of emotion and brilliant thought process that you have used in this piece. It is excellent reading, and thought provoking. oh, and the music soundtrack is perfect.

Greatly enjoyed.

Trace

Thank you dearly Trace, I'm so pleased to see this one had a connection to you. So appreciated! Elis :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

but your name was the future -- love this line, and the metaphor that it fits in to.

Such a subtly beautiful piece filled with so much emotion and yearning. I can hear the sound of your voice crying out into the darkness with this, waiting to hear the echo back, or perhaps a distant voice upon the breeze. Lovely and soft, as always. Love the form and flow too!

Many thanks dear one... I appreciate your thoughts, upon this one... much love Elis x

[David Scott]

"I hear you, for years, in nights like these."

Reminds me of what I was feeling in a write.

The past is past. Nothing will ever change this fact and we never get a redo.

So let the past whisper the lessons to the now and let the now sing them into the future.

The stanza about never being together with your own soul... You make me think.
Maybe the separation is important to keep from smothering the moment and letting each cell of your being "breath" a little?

Cryptic and symbolic words Eli.

Oh Mr. dear Scott, really a wonderous way, how you look at this one... it brings you so much ratio...

While it was such a "dream" "emotion" a real one. I like the way you analyze dreams, (my own dreams)... You have a sharp way with it, so I will take this with me, it means the world, you came up with these thoughts. As time, passes by each day, I shall keep you in touch about the future... But from out of an old Indonesian belief, past is not always done ;) my grandmother told me great scary stories..... when she was still alive.

[David Scott]

Well, I will not try to convince you to abandon your traditions, but the past has already seeded the future. History does play out and the future can never escape the past entirely.
Still, I believe only what we summon from the past will ever have any true power in the now...
Choose what you will call forward, because it has already been sent to the future. You cannot "un-seed" the past Eli. When I say the past is in the past I simply mean you cannot do or undo the past. I do not mean it will not be played out in the future of our now and our tomorrow's.

Ah yes, now I understand your point of view much better, thanks for explaining.... :) Great thoughts here.... I am on your wavelength with what you say now....

[David Scott]

;)
I'm glad we are surfing the same wave. Ha.
Long day!

Oh for you too *blegh-moments* here the same lol.... ha! I have had too much on my plate today, but tomorrow, I'm re-loaded for sure... take good care of you friend... sleep well!

[emmajoy]

There are times when reading a person's poem stops me in my tracks, when i just want to stay wrapped in the words because they're so .. full of meanings that could be interpreted for self. This is one of those posts and i want to stay here, reading it over and over again. The video's flashing has distracted me but solved that by moving downwards. I want to share and focus on the emotions, the needful, sad need. Beautiful, Elisa.

Thank you love, for this most honest and heartfelt review, I appreciate them like this....
I had this musical piece in my ears, while sleeping, dreamt the poem, scribbled it down.... and wanted to share it in totallity, if you only watch the vid, it's pretty freaky... it slowly change... anyhow, I love your review, many thanks! xx truly.