IN YOUR SHADOW WHERE I SHONE

For my father, whose years were far less than I had wished...

Remembering when I was small

You held my hand, I felt so tall

Atop your lap, a mighty throne,

within your shadow where I shone.

You taught me how to catch a fish,

to toss a coin and make a wish

Oh how I wish I had those coins

I’d reverse time just to enjoy

 the sun as it set on the lake,

to stop you on that fateful day -

You took your life, I wasn’t there

Upon your lake of dark despair.

I’d take those shining coins of gold

Back to your shadow...

 ...Where I shone

 

 

 

Reviews

[SZHZIA]

It is the best expression of love for a father from you...
REMEMBERING WHEN I WAS SMALL
YOU HELD MY HAND, I FELT SO TALL
ATOP YOUR LAP, A MIGHTY THRONE
WITHIN YOUR SHADOW WHERE I SHONE
The above lines stolen my heart …. It is filled with emotions… really I like it… Thank you for sharing….
Best
Szhzia

[M. L. F.]

Thank you for the time in reading and reviewing my work. I'm glad the feeling resonated with you.
...Misty

[SZHZIA]

It is my pleasure...

[zaisham9393]

I am sorry for your loss.Reading this, I could think of was my uncle I lost to cancer.He died within 6 months, after the diagnosis and I miss him so much .

This poem was very well written, and again I am sorry for your loss.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Lovely tale filled with the depth where water swallowed the coins.

Regards,
Al

[M. L. F.]

Beautifully stated... Thank you for the read.
..Misty

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and sad story shared in the poetry. Losing a father when young. A hard thing to understand. Thank you dear Poet for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[M. L. F.]

Thank you for the thoughts Coyote. I'm glad you liked the work...
..Misty

[Coyote Poetry]

I do and you are welcome.

[alanwgraham]

It is a heart aching story well told. When you are small your father is your god but when this awful thing happens you have no chance to discover him as a man.
The reader is not always sure if the work is based on personal experience but I know myself that the act of writing about these experiences can be cathartic.
Well done!
I would be interested to see what you make of my story 'The field'
Thanks,
Alan

[M. L. F.]

I am really not a poet, to be honest I write fiction. I am trying to complete a novel my creative writing professor said was publishable... Dream big. :) And yes, the story is based on personal experience, unfortunately. But this writing was indeed cathartic for me. It was a nice way to commemorate my father and keep him close. I will check out your story as soon as I get a chance, and maybe you would be interested in my story here. It is called "All Hallows Eve" and is my feature at the moment, until my chapters finish edit and are posted. Thanks for taking the time to read and review me.
Sincerely,
Misty

[reinell]

i feel sorry for you loss...

[M. L. F.]

Thank you.. Very sweet of you.
..Misty

[Fahmida Mehreen]

I am not much of poet. Nonetheless, I liked what I read.

[M. L. F.]

Thank you. I am glad you found the read worth the time..
..Misty

[Norman 223]

I too, noticed the use of rhyme when recollecting the childish memories, but blank verse with the adult longings.
To me, this made a definite emphasis of the transition of time and emotion.
A sad but affectionate poem,Misty, that shocks with its final poignancy.

Norman

[M. L. F.]

Thank you Norman. Your review is appreciated, your opinion respected. The emphasis is intentional and the poem was cathartic for me to write. I like to keep him alive in one way or another and I found writing this served a positive emotional purpose for me. I'm glad it resonated with you... Thank you for your time.
..Misty

[Joe W]

Misty,
I found this one to be incredibly powerful and moving. It really brings up memories and all that but it really encourages us, at least I hope it does, to take the moments that we have with our parents and our loved ones and to really cherish those times because you never know when you are going to look back and think, "man if only...."
Semper Fi,
Joe

[Érenn]

Hey Misty ^^ I think I missed this one by mistake ^^' Now this is a wonderful poem with a lot of vivid imagery created by your words here. This piece might become relatable with many people ^^ Now first the structure is maintained throughout the poem which gives it the flow that's needed, ^^ I think this might be intentional but wherever used rhymes(except the last pair of rhymes) you have made it sound a little childish making me feel the child in you whose remembering her childhood has wrote those few lines and the rest is being written by the adult Misty remembering the childhood as well as the darkness that was present in it. It's really very well written and you have expressed a lot in these few words. One could have written a lot more but may not have given the impact and the punch this one holds. There is darkness as the child in you tries to capture the sparks (memories) which may light a torch that might help to make way through those dark times.... I really loved this one Thank you so much for sharing. I did get immersed into it even if it meant to bear a little pain.....