TEASER:  "THE DEVIL'S NEW DISGUISE"

TEASER: "THE DEVIL'S NEW DISGUISE"

A Story by M. L. F.
"

JUST A TEASER FOR THE STORY AS IT IS JUST ABOUT DONE... ;)

"

She crept up the stairs in silence, her toes casting shapes in the dust. Whatever had dared nudge her, to whisper her name, had decided that it was now done with her.  Gone.  When she got to the top of the staircase she lifted what was left of the tiny sun like candle and stood, gazing around the long, narrow space.  There was hardly anywhere left to stand.  A gargantuan wall of wood stood watch like a sturdy guard, towering wordlessly two feet in front of her.  The candle again began to slip in her sweaty hands that shook like leaves in harsh winds. The wall before her, the unknown abyss lurking on either side, and a trip back down the narrow steps with the thing that knew her name, had left her with no good decisions.  She would need to decide, and now. The candle had dwindled down to nearly nothing.  She panicked as it pulsed slower, the wick dimming near death.  The sleeping powder would soon too wear off.  Pinching her eyes shut for a second, she prayed, then snapping them wide she rose the tiny sun from it's grave to guide her as she gambled and disappeared down the darkened corridor that led to the left...



© 2017 M. L. F.



Author's Note

M. L. F.
Tension... I want to let it grow nice and slow... Hope it is in the right direction here... excerpt is from the middle / end of the story... Nothing much but yeah, a glimpse inside "The Devil's New Disguise"... ;)


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Reviews

My body is ready for this story. I am entranced by this teaser. As the Teaser Master XD, I have to say you did a really great job. The details were on point. Great job Misty-sama. Sorry for the really, really late response.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Well done! Love it. I did find myself skipping some words because I found it to be too much imagery. But that is pure preference on my part as i like to leave room for the reader to come up with their own take on it. Love it though, def would continue reading!

Posted 1 Year Ago


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Woah : ) very nice Misty...A teaser for sure...leaves one wanting more! Graphic, chilling imagery. The tension is dark and delicious. Starz x

Posted 1 Year Ago


"Whatever had dared nudge her, to whisper her name,"...this line builds up a good deal of suspense. And for an excerpt the last line does leave me wanting more. All the best Misty.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I feel that because this is just a small excerpt, a lot of the drama/tension isn't applicable, but I can certainly see how many of the elements could be just that in the right context. All the same, I could already feel some weight of the situation. Many good word choices. As always, I eagerly await the release.

Posted 1 Year Ago


The imagery here is amazing, I hope you don't tease us with this too long.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

1 Year Ago

Yes... I tend to edit a lot. Polishing is important to the writing process for me. Shortly it shal.. read more
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FIN
I am excited to read more; both teasers were great, although I haven't a clue what the story is to be about.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed the imagery of the second teaser and the suspense and thrill of this one.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

1 Year Ago

It is a story about the devil.. On earth in human form. It is an homage to Stephen King's short sto.. read more
FIN

1 Year Ago

Oh, I see. Stephen King. (:
I may have to read that one.

And always, Ms. Misty.. read more
I'm so slow to grasp all that imagery! But this is going to be fun to read. Congratulations Misty and good luck on releasing/ publishing the entire book!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

1 Year Ago

Thank you. I look forward to posting the work here shortly. A bit more editing and away we go. read more
YanZeros

1 Year Ago

surely will! and you're welcome!
Well I'll be damned!! This is why its called a "teaser".. 'Cause it just did that!! I'm hooked on the tension.. Can't wait to read more of it.. Btw you really have a knack of story-telling ☺

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

1 Year Ago

Thank you :) This is my first ever "teaser" for a larger piece, so glad it had intended effect! <.. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

You are welcome! My pleasure ☺

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Added on December 7, 2016
Last Updated on February 13, 2017

Author

M. L. F.
M. L. F.

American writer in the Netherlands....



About
"True suspense, true... terror, doesn't jump in your face with a hockey mask. No, no...It starts very, very slowly, creeping up your spine and into the space where your hair trickles onto your neck.".. more..

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