Promise

One of those deep thoughts disguised in the form of a story...

                                             The glow of the silver moon made her gentle skin appear even paler. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds dipped in blue ink, as she headed towards the place she swore never to tread on again.

 

She dreamed of this place every night for almost a week now, calling out to her, haunting her to come visit, to come see her days of happiness and what was left of it now.

 

And there she was.

 

She walked towards the hut that was set in front the ocean. Just looking at it brought a smile to her soft lips, as she felt the smooth sand grains under her bare feet, as she breathed the heavy salty air and felt the strong wind against her skin.

Most alluring of all, hearing the roar of the ocean she had not heard for ages together which seemed to be calling out to her to play with them like she use to.

 

"I use to come here when I wanted to think" he used to tell her "the hut may not look like much but when I wanted to be alone and just think… this was the place to be".

 

She placed her hand on the straw door of the worn down place and gave it a slight push, and that's when it came back to her. The memory she treasured for so long.

 

----

"Na na na! You can't catch me!" a small girl at the mere age of ten yelled at a boy which seemed a year older. They were playing on the beach side again. Their secret hide away from the rest of the world.

 

People would have taken them for twins if it wasn't for their eyes.

The girl had inky blue eyes and the boy had oak brown. Both of them had their hair of the same sandy brown color. Their skins matched the tone of the sun but a little more paler.

 

The boy ran towards the girl as the girl yelped a shriek of laughter and ran around the hut.

Soon the boy cornered her and was about to tag her when she swiftly moved to her left and before the boy knew it, he stabbed his thumb on a small yet sharp peck of wood resting on the same corner the girl was a few moments ago.

 

In seconds, his face twisted in pain but never dared to shed a single tear being the 'strong' boy he was, and the fear of crying in front of a girl. Even though he was her best friend.

 

The girl immediately ran to him repeatedly saying something about being sorry and brought him to a spot at the foot of the ocean and tended to his wound.

 

Even at such a young age she did know a thing or two about tending to jabbed wounds or well, that's was she claimed.

 

"Hold still!" she said as she pinched the small piece of wood out of his thumb.

 

"But it hurts!" he winced.

 

"Yes I know, but if I don't pull it out you will never be able to play the flute again!" she proclaimed and that was convincing enough for the boy to stay still as she dressed his thumb with her handkerchief.

 

The flute, a much known instrument to her as that was the only solution to all her bad moods. It was the only thing that could make her smile on gloomy days. Especially when the boy use to play it.

 

Every time he played a mellow composition, it seemed to her as if he had magic in his fingers. He made her feel as if every tune had a story behind it, absolutely mesmerizing her. And as if nothing could perk her up more than a lovely tune

 

"There… done!" she said and beamed at her amateur first aid attempt. The boy took his thumb up close and inspected it. "Will I still be able to play the flute Laura?"  He asked her hopefully. She proudly grinned like a doctor delivering the good news, "Yes, and as beautiful as ever"

 

After their small squabble on the ‘unfair means of playing tag’, they sat back to watch the sunset as it disappeared over the horizon as it had done many times before. Each time giving them a new perception of the small magnificence of the setting sun.

 

At that point the sudden question arose.

 

"Ian” Laura turned to him “will you be my friend forever?" she solemnly asked him.

 

"Of course" he replied with a smile.

 

"But what if something bad happens to me or you?' she looked at him, a little worried.

 

"It doesn't matter" he replied calmly "I'll still be your friend no matter what"

 

She still did not look convinced, so he took out something out of his pocket that looked like a small flute.

 

"Here" he said as he pressed the flute into her hands "Even if something bad happens to you, play this flute and I'll be there to help you"  he smiled as she looked up from her hands.

 

"Promise?”

 

"I promise, Laura".

----

 

Promise. That one word still rang in her ears after almost 10 years. Till that one terrible day where god decided to take him back a little earlier that everyone else. She went in and out of the hut trying to feel all the memories she had of him. At that point in her thoughts, a silent tear rolled down her cheeks.

She continued to walk towards that very place where he pledge his friendship to her, with the same small flute close to her heart.

 

But even at that time his memories were not enough to make her feel better.

 

Today she missed him.

She really did with all her heart.

 

One main reason was, it never had been the same after his death. As if life took a complete new phase. She was never happy. She did not know why life had taken away the one thing she loved, and in return gave her nothing but grief. Bitter grief.

 

This made her angry. She was so angry with herself and every one around her that at some point in her anger she swore to never see the beach side again. To never see happiness again no matter in which form it appeared in.

 

Her flustered face and confused heart did not know how to handle feelings anymore; emotions were nothing to her but numbness with a name.

 

So she began to play a tune… a very beautiful but sad tune. Filled with all the melancholy she had in her.

She played all the emotions seeping through her. She played whatever she had left in her… she played it all…

 

"I'll be there…" she remembered his words, his voice, as she continued to play. Tears running down her face carelessly "…no matter what".

 

She knew she would never see him again but she continued to play anyway. To feel happiness, to feel the warmth of being loved, to feel his presence again. To feel anything.

 

Then suddenly she heard something. Before she could turn around she heard a voice that stopped her heart.

 "I told you I’ll be here”

 

*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Author's Note

Description? Anything else i can do to make the story better?

Reviews

[imawriter]

I could see it coming..the ending... and it grabbed me anyway... I wept.. It reminds me so of a dear friend that i lost to diabetes. She always used to say that she and I were old souls.. friends from the beginning of time.. and for all of time. I miss her really a lot. She was just like my sister.. The last gift she gave to me was a pic of her and her new husband with a recording of her singing.. and him playing the guitar... she loved to sing... I can still hear her singing in my head sometimes...and sometimes I think if I turn around I'll hear or see her .. just like your flute boy. thank you so much for this story.

[Two Friends]

Wow that was amazing...i love it :D
Great Job

[Lauren Marie]

Ahh!! Love the descriptions in the first paragraph!

I loved it! This story was a fresh read!

One thing: "Just looking at it brought a smile to her soft lips, as she felt the smooth sand grains under her bare feet, as she breathed the heavy salty air and felt the strong wind against her skin." You wrote "as" twice, making this sentence seem wordy. Instead, you could write, "Just looking at it brought a smile to her soft lips, and she felt the smooth sand grains under her bare feeat as she breathed the heavy salty air and felt the strong wind against her skin."

Aww, I liked this story a lot. I will definately but it in my virtual library!
~Lauren

[Neg]

"Soul Writer" said it best "I love the emotions running through it". good job, keep going with what you have been doing, its a good start to the story.

[Soul Writer]

Wow. I loved the emotions running through it, and the flashbacks added so much depth to the piece and made me smile. One thing I picked up on,
"Their skins matched the tone of the sun but a little more paler"
This should be "A little paler" or "A little more pale" Personally I prefer the first, but...
Also I think the line would flow better if you changed the wording a little, it seemed a bit awkward. Maybe something like "Their skins almost matched the tone of the sun, only a little paler"
Keep Writing!
Soul Writer