My Light Source

My Light Source

A Poem by Wunderlich
"

Wrote this for the Moms contest.

"

My selfless sun
Gravitational
Fingers stretched outward
Throwing meteors astray

An empty lane in space
Burning stars on its sides
An orbit just for me
Your force clearing the way

Your warmth cradles my climate
Nourishing my life
I will not freeze tonight

© 2009 Wunderlich


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Featured Review

Cosmic and lovely, personifying the cosmos to a real mother-child relationship. An infantile dependance and a god-like protection. Beautiful.


One tiny piece of feedback. I don't think you need the final line. Your images above are so powerful, that your readers are led to take that leap and realize the final line for themselves.

Good work, and good luck.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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Nice imagery
Very cosmic =)
Well done

Posted 14 Years Ago


Congratulations for winning the Honor-thy-Mother contest!

Posted 14 Years Ago


This was so pretty, with a gentle flow and a soft lyrical feel to it. I specifically liked this part:
'Fingers stretched outward
Throwing meteors astray'

I don't know what it is about it, but I loved it. Great work!

- Kriss



Posted 14 Years Ago


wow, this is breath taking. i didnt read it was about your mom (at least that's what i gathered) until after reading through the poem. the first 2 stanzas are written in a very intellectual, matter of fact way, then the last stanza really brings home the emotions of the poem. for some reason i really love that last line "I will not freeze tonight". i can relate so well with my own mother, who is my lightsource. a very unique & creative way of showing the beauty of mother/child bond.

Posted 14 Years Ago


While the sun shines, there's no place for a cold life. You made beautiful imagery there.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A mothers warmth- a well expressed piece- I like that last line- it says much- That that warmth and protection will not always be there and one day you will stand alone and make your own path- to either frezze or find your ow way-- good poetry-


my warmest
bob

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good. I like it. I'm glad you not going to freeze tonight, smooth write.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cosmic and lovely, personifying the cosmos to a real mother-child relationship. An infantile dependance and a god-like protection. Beautiful.


One tiny piece of feedback. I don't think you need the final line. Your images above are so powerful, that your readers are led to take that leap and realize the final line for themselves.

Good work, and good luck.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think it's beautiful :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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201 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 16, 2009
Last Updated on May 18, 2009

Author

Wunderlich
Wunderlich

Marshall, VA



About
Hai. I spend most of my time playing airsoft, guitar, smoking weed, writing, gaming, and listening to music. Bai. more..

Writing