Waking Up

Wrote this last night. Eh.

Pushing against the plastic
That bends and begins to melt
Screams are sifting through the smoke
That slowly escapes through the cracks

Now just a lonely pile of smoldering ash
No one there to close my eyes
If you tried you wouldn't find them

Synthetic skin smothering
This miserable mentality
Tried to transform totally
But could never escape me

I am tired
I am stupid
I am lonely
So f*****g boring

Apathetic arrowhead
Piercing the prison of the heart
Blood is flowing fiercely now
I've only always wanted escape

Rising into the air
Ashes now I have no fear
Absolutely no anxiety
Finally depression free

In a flash of frightening light
I open my listless eyes
What kind of mother f*****g life
Have I damned myself to this time?

Now I stand in the kitchen
Hands pressed against the beautiful countertop
Everything's so f*****g perfect
Everything's so wonderful
Everybody's so f*****g happy
Why am I so miserable?

Reviews

[Tis' Starling Bright]

I like this poem. It has a lot of feeling to it. it really skims over feeling that you have about life. Its a beautiful reality check on living though your pov.

[~Unashamed Love~]

"I've only always wanted escape"
"Everything's so f*****g perfect
Everything's so wonderful
Everybody's so f*****g happy
Why I am so miserable?"


Wow. I loved the sincerity you used to write it. I feel your pain..You created something beautiful out of pain...

[Katherine Wyatt]

some really great lines here..
"In a flash of frightening light
I open my listless eyes
What kind of mother f*****g life
Have I damned myself to this time?

I really like the whole piece... a little roller coaster manic hapening there and it adds to the angst..
Well done!

[f**k you]

This is brilliant. I love the up and down of the emotions, and I can tottally relate to it. I honestly felt this.
"Apathetic arrowhead
Piercing the prison of the heart
Blood is flowing fiercely now
I've only always wanted escape"
So well written. Great write.

[Serend1p1ty]

This a deep poem.
It actually dampens your mood when you read this, so yeah, you're definitely getting emotion across.
The fact that there isn't rhythm in the poem helps express the emotions in it.
Really well done.
I really liked the beginning stanza:
"Pushing against the plastic
That bends and begins to melt
Screams are sifting through the smoke
That slowly escapes through the cracks"
The last two lines especially appealed to me.
So well worded.

[Meredith Leigh]

Wow, your description is incredible, it's so good that I can really FEEL this poem. Especially this part:

'Everything's so f*****g perfect
Everything's so wonderful
Everybody's so f*****g happy
Why I am so miserable?'

So many people can relate, yet you made it into a piece of art. Great work!

- Kriss