Reaping Grain

I love ruby red pomegranate juice with that s**t. That doesn't make me a b***h, does it? :'(

Finding comfort in the grain again
Digging through the acidic taste
Driven to this by these games you play
I will never conquer this hate

Ice against my screeching teeth
Sharp and poignant my throat screams
The crazy butcher chopping the seams
Of the sack that envelopes me

Holding this goddamn glass again
This is a personal prescription
Staring at me with your lashing tongue
This is not for fun, this must be done

Eating another cloud of cancer
Choking like an injured dancer
Slipping down the children's slide
Sinking into another darkened dive

Fire brushing my crying teeth
Sick and burning my throat bleeds
The crazy butcher hacks my knees
This is the last thing anyone needs
But this is the only thing that works for me

Author's Note

Originally the last line was : "But something healthy is just too damn depressing"
I have changed it to try to make it flow better (thanks to John Morris' suggestion), but I'm still not sure if it flows well enough.

Reviews

[Ariene Ibana Venida]

nice =)

[Undying Glory]

wow thought this was really interesting work, vivid and picturesque.

"Fire brushing my crying teeth
Sick and burning my throat bleeds
The crazy butcher hacks my knees
This is the last thing anyone needs
But this is the only thing that works for me"
great words!

[Rachel Koepke]

I think that it flows great and i absolutely llove this piece its actually a favorite of mine on this site and i cant wait to read mor of ur writing

[SR Urie]

Great work, W. I am so glad I was finally able to put the smokes down for good. Keep it up! BZ

[Maria F. Rojas]

love it, nice how it sounds at the end.

[Meredith Leigh]

Great rhyme and flow. I liked the overall feel of this poem. Great work!
=]

- Kriss

[John Morris]

This is fantastic, it flows really well and it is one of those poems which gives a clever meaning hidden inside the text. One problem is the last line, the rest flows brilliant but the last lines seem to slow you down i think more the amount of syllabals in it. The poem is excellent otherwise