M.D.

Fun fun ._.

Holding this blade with a shaking hand
Never been fond of drawing blood
Pressing gently, easing my way in
Some days I dream of being a surgeon

A light blue mask covers my face
A smile covers my depression
A mask I've forced myself to make
Just so I can get through the day

Holding my breath with shaking lungs
Quivering underneath the water
Hair floating atop the surface
Patiently waiting for the darkness

Reviews

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations for winning the Masquerade Contest!

[4ammonologues]

Haunting, but beautiful. your imagery is very clear and instills somewhat of a panicky fear in me as I imagine myself with a blade in hand. well done!

[Jon Lattone]

WOW! This is pretty dark dude.. but in a good way. Really descriptive and lucid.. and the name of the piece and the picture really help to bring attention to readers.. good thing it's backed up by this great piece of writing. Honestly man, work well done :)

[Meredith Leigh]

Whoa, I got a really cool, but kind of a sadistic image when reading this. It's very descriptive, and the words can bring out strong emotions when reading. Great write!

- Kriss

[Jia Mekare]

Something about the line "Some days I dream of being a surgeon" really gives this poem a push that many others lack, and if I was a better reviewer, I could articulate what that something is. :) A well written poem on the frequent (And frequently bad) subject of alienation. Keep writing.

[Horsey]

Its good, I enjoyed! You used just the right amount of emotion. I love how you composed the sentences.

Holding my breath with shaking lungs
Quivering underneath the water
Hair floating atop the surface
Patiently waiting for the darkness

Loved it. Great word choice!

[f**k you]

This is probably one of the greatest passages I've read on writerscafe. This isn't like all the other "my life sucks...feel sorry for me" s**t out there. Something in this struck me as "true", and I honestly felt the emotion in this. I really did. Excellent word choice.
"A light blue mask covers my face
A smile covers my depression
A mask I've forced myself to make
Just so I can get through the day"
Love that.
This is deep, in a way anyone can relate to.
Brilliant write.

[Last Lying Look]

Ah, now this is neat.
The edge in this is awesome.
At first I thought it was going to be some emo bullshit,
but then it was awesome!
Excellent write!
-Elissa :)