A Party Without Balloons

A Party Without Balloons

A Poem by Xuru
"

A silly poem about the morning after.

"

I fell asleep in a bed of roaches multiplied by stains of a human design, bed sheets traced with ashes when dreams of dancing ladies delight in a drag of my cigarette. 


Voices fall upon white walls rung with booze stained frames. The night before like the nights of many, play host to faces I hate and mouths that fellate. I peer through the cracks in the wall, but don't see my enemies. Only the Red Sea remains ready to part for my bloodshot eyes, but in it I stand - red cup in hand.


© 2017 Xuru



Author's Note

Xuru
Thoughts and comments are always appreciated.

My Review

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Featured Review

Before I comment and review, I would like to know as to why do you consider this to be poetry or a poem? In short what is poetry for you? Now, depending on your answer you can decide if the fallowing is useful for you or not: in my opinion, there is not a single element that could define this as a poem. It's a short story, an excellently described one with skillful imagery. But it is not a poem at all. For it to be a poem there should be more rhythmic elements, or a different writing style. For me this is prose, and the style is also prose.


Posted 1 Year Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Xuru

1 Year Ago

At times I have difficulty looking at my own work and identifying what type of animal it is.
.. read more
Stefano Segnan

1 Year Ago

That is the reason why I asked. Can you sing, or "half-sing", this piece in your head? I cannot. Thi.. read more


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Reviews

I get a sense of feeling stuck with your poem. I quite enjoyed it.

Posted 1 Month Ago


DDee

1 Month Ago

Also the title is excellent for this
Xuru

1 Month Ago

Thank you so much. Glad to see you enjoyed it.
Has a fluid motion to the tone. It has a dream-like quality and a disconnect. Like how its fragmented and zero in a lone figure in a party. I picture the speaker with a husky voice

Posted 1 Month Ago


Xuru

1 Month Ago

Thanks again my friend.
Like a surreal painting love this Xur

Posted 1 Month Ago


Xuru

1 Month Ago

That is nice of you to say. Glad you like it.
I love your style...and this read very well.. I could picture in my mind..

Posted 1 Month Ago


Xuru

1 Month Ago

Glad I got something right here.
i really enjoyed this on many levels. i am enjoying reading your writing

Posted 4 Months Ago


Xuru

1 Month Ago

Late response, but I'm glad you liked it.
Only the Red Sea remains ready to part for my bloodshot eyes, but in it I stand - red cup in hand.

I envy you now, deal with that =) With true seriousness this was an experience. You might have felt the real thing but your words had 4d affects all over me. Your style is very different just hanging off a cliff, legs touching poetry and head still poking at story. I need to adapt this style to get to this level. Last three word: Is it FICTION?

Posted 7 Months Ago


Saud Maroof

7 Months Ago

that is disappointing. but still thank you for sharing
Xuru

7 Months Ago

Disappointing how?
Saud Maroof

7 Months Ago

if it wasn't real you would have created something that appears very real. so it's disappointing tha.. read more
i enjoyed this narrative style of writing, very descriptive and so clear like i have been there once like martin sheen in that vietnam war movie.

Posted 8 Months Ago


Xuru

7 Months Ago

I think we've all been there.
This takes me back, I can see myself in these words, good job!

Posted 10 Months Ago


Xuru

10 Months Ago

We've all been there, some more than others. Thanks for the read my friend.
I am just leaving my comment here. I don't think I am qualified enough to review the entire context but i did enjoy it.
First of all underneath all those words and connotations i could relate to it. The speaker's feeling of isolation at some point especially.
And the need of alcohol for the speaker's need to escape the reality.
Besides the relatable content the lyrical aspects of it was impressive.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Xuru

7 Months Ago

Thank you for the feedback, even if you couldn't see through all of it.

I appreciate.. read more
The Red cup is the stand out item there. The poem/story in all I very well done detailing the party hangover. But that red cup was it's spark. Well done

Posted 1 Year Ago


Xuru

7 Months Ago

Thank you Sir.

I'm glad you liked it.

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787 Views
17 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 15, 2016
Last Updated on August 26, 2017
Tags: poetry, nonsense, short, writing, scribbles

Author

Xuru
Xuru

Canada



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