Andrew

Andrew,

 

There’s so much I’ve wanted to tell you. I just haven’t found how yet. This whole thing, it’s like I’m trapped inside a glass box, seeing but not touching. I’m like a ragdoll, flopping around the place, letting the puppet master violently pull my strings. I hate making decisions; you know that more than anyone. This glass box... it’s like we have magic markers and can draw pictures of what we want the world to be like but pictures never look like the real thing. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have this glass wall. But most times I’m glad of it... I think. It doesn’t seem true that this could have happened though. Even stuck behind this wall and being able to watch so clearly, my breath seems to mist up the glass. Maybe time travels slower around me but I swear we’ve been stuck in winter for an eternity. It’s constantly cold... so cold... so cold without you. Now that I managed to see you... to get a glimpse of something beautiful, it hurts even more really. It wasn’t supposed to but you predicted and well... your predictions are pretty accurate. In all honesty, I’ve been dreading the moment when I would have to write this. Doesn’t everyone? But this is worse because I never really met you... never really allowed myself to meet you: it was always the glass box and I.  And now you’re gone. Gone and you’re never coming back. Everyone’s telling me that and I guess I’ll believe it in the end but it doesn’t seem real. In a way, I think, I never really had you. You were always so committed to other things. No one’s saying it but they’re all thinking it... they think that it was the work that killed you. And in the end, I think it was. But there were much more important things to consider... like us. Or maybe I’m trying to search for a reason as to why I am hurting so much. I didn’t love you... I couldn’t have done. Love is something so vast and complex and yet what I felt for you was so simple and pure. Love isn’t pure. Love is full of hurting and lies. Maybe we were a lie.

 

I can’t think anymore. I want to just stuff this letter in an envelope and throw it into your coffin. Maybe I’ll lie next to you. Maybe I can burn alive.

RD

 

Reviews

[Shellie]

It sounds like your questioning the love of a person you loved at the time but because this person has died you have to question it because your confused. Thats what i got from this. I think it was well written and
I swear weve been stuck in winter for an eternity..."
is an excellent line.