Jeremy

my friend asked me to write a poem about his beauty. I did.

He’s pasty skinned.

He’s Georgian.

His name is Jeremy.

His chin is incapable of being hairy.

In his ears, he has holes,

Yeah, right in the lobes.

I mean, who does that?

It makes him look like a muskrat-

But don’t get me wrong,

I’d still love to see him in a lacy thong.

And he’d do it, too,

‘cause he’s a hipster dude.

He’s more hip than an ilium bone,

But I still want that single lady’s ring to own.