The City

The City

A Poem by Viki Rachel
"

A concrete jungle.

"

The sun is invisible in the city,

Where only the dresses are pretty,

In a place so

Grey,

Grey,

Grey.

 

 

Peace is unachievable,

With a cacophany inconcievable.

Will God hear if we

Pray;

Pray;

Pray?

 

 

Where the people thrive on gasoline

And are unaware of the color green,

Because grass ain't got no place to

Stay;

Stay;

Stay.

 

 

Hey, we got stores on every street,

With a deadline we have to meet!

So come shop

Today,

Today,

Today.


© 2011 Viki Rachel



Author's Note

Viki Rachel
A kind of quirky write of mine.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Very nicely done. I like how you repeated the last words three times, as the number three signifies death. So, the color is a kind of death, praying is something that seems to be going through a kind of death, grass will die if it stays in the city, and our ignorance today is killing the world. Nice symbolism. I liked the structure of the poem as well, and the use of the pronoun "we" which makes everyone responsible, but also makes the reader feel strangely cut off from the collective speakers because readers can see the problems in what the collective is saying. Good poem.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very nicely done. I like how you repeated the last words three times, as the number three signifies death. So, the color is a kind of death, praying is something that seems to be going through a kind of death, grass will die if it stays in the city, and our ignorance today is killing the world. Nice symbolism. I liked the structure of the poem as well, and the use of the pronoun "we" which makes everyone responsible, but also makes the reader feel strangely cut off from the collective speakers because readers can see the problems in what the collective is saying. Good poem.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this poem, especially the unique format! Your ability to play around with format is wonderful, and I envy it a little =) My favorite stanza was:

Where the people thrive on gasoline
And are unaware of the color green,
Because grass ain't got no place to
Stay;
Stay;
Stay.

So true. I got a little thrown off by the ending, but mostly because shopping and deadlines just didn't seem as drastic as everything else you'd mentioned in the poem beforehand. I guess I'm too in love with powerful, thought provoking endings. But again, this is definitely just my opinion! Nothing you have to worry about. The writing and structure is awesome! Keep it up!

Posted 6 Years Ago


i like, i like (:

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this one. The style is really unique :D
I liked it a lot, keep it up ^_^

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

158 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 22, 2010
Last Updated on January 14, 2011
Tags: city

Author

Viki Rachel
Viki Rachel

Dallas, TX



About
~~I WILL NOT ADD YOU WITHOUT PRIOR CONTACT~~ I don't take RRs. I check up on all of my friends and review their poems, stories, and sometimes books. I don't expect reviews in return, however they are.. more..

Writing
Skin Skin

A Story by Viki Rachel