Suicide and Lemonade

It's vulnerability that makes depression look so romantic.
The surrender of self while we let it invade every part of us.
That slow death.

Depression is like love in that way.

But I'm terrified of how well you dressed up as empathy and imagination with a sensitive disposition to match.
You would win any costume contest.

Remember that time you put metal to my veins? 
The scar healed nicely.
I also thought you should know my neck wasn't even bruised.
Good thing that belt is soft leather.

And anyone who says live like your dying is an a*****e. 
They have never received self-esteem via orange bottles.
They have never been dripping in compassion and still wondered how many percocets it would take.
They have never tried rationalizing with the purely irrational.
Don't they know there's no negotiating with terrorists? 

Now I've been in bed for two days without having slept at all and I'm so afraid how easily I can detach myself from anyone but
I like myself.
I like myself.
I like myself.
I like myself.
I like myself.
Wait.

Let me start over.

Go f**k yourself.

I was told to make lemonade just because you gave me lemons.
I'm also told it's likely you will never leave.
That I should get really good at making lemonade.

Go f**k yourself.

I know your address.
It's the intersection of psychological-sovereignty and self-love.
You annexed my most aesthetic streets and made them ugly.

So I'm running to where you live to throw lemons in the living room window with a death threat attached.

Dear Suicide, 
when you come crawling back expect my foot on your throat and a shotgun to your teeth while I scream,
"You should have killed me when you had the f*****g chance."

Because depression isn't about attention, it isn't about under-appreciating the people around me and it isn't about a girl.
It's about finding lions in my lungs and gasoline in my guts because this is the good fight.
It's about washing my car when there's a one hundred percent chance of rain tomorrow because I want the best for myself starting right now.

No more waiting.

It's about staring at futility and laughing because death will come but not from you.

Besides.

I don't even like lemonade.

Reviews

[PANDORA]

Depression is like love in that way.---This is a great line. The whole piece is "percocet" perfection.

One suggestion:

But I'm terrified of how well you dressed up as empathy and imagination with a sensitive disposition to match.
MAYBE
I'm terrified of how well you dressed up as empathy disguised as imagination
with a sensitive disposition to match

Just a suggestion. This is really a superb write!

[Kyle Chapman]

I appreciate the constructive criticism. Thank you for reading!

[Kajal Sharma]

depression is really hard to get out from...you did a great job

[mattavelli]

I really enjoyed your point of view. I hope depression isn't something that's too popular. Thanks for sharing.

[Kyle Chapman]

Thank you for reading!

[Cat]

It's like you put down what my mind was unable to form into thoughts, thank you.

[Kyle Chapman]

Thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time to read it. It means a lot!

[MissLaine]

I truly enjoyed this! > u <

Its really good!! I love your writing style :) Creative and inspiring.

Keep it up!

[Kyle Chapman]

Thank you for reading! There will be more to come soon.

[ChaosBeast]

Wow. Just wow. I love this poem. You're writing style and your choice of words really impress me. I really enjoyed the turn around and how you kicked suicide right in the a*s.

[Kyle Chapman]

Thank you for the kind words. I hope you keep reading!

[terry smith]

Very good!!could read you all day.