Those Three Words

The three words that can bring such joy, and such unbelievable heartache.

I remember the first time I said it…..

I remember the words clearly

I attempted them.

Evaluating, distinguishing them experimentally,

Trying them on to see if they quite fit….

Appreciating that they felt new and exciting.

I love you.

 

I remember the second time I said it….

I remember the words clearly

I exclaimed them.

Embracing, admiring them genuinely.

Trusting in their perseverance and poetry.

Acknowledging the flight my heart took when echoed back.

I love you.

 

I remember the six hundredth or so time I said it…

I remember the words clearly

I declared them.

Affirming, professing them assuredly

Avowing my devotion before God and our friends.

Beginning a new life together with such hope and promise.

I love you.

 

I remember the many many-eth time I said it….

I remember the words clearly

I sing-songed them.

Unfaltering, trusting them effortlessly

Undoubting that the man I knew mirrored my tranquility.

Thirsting for continued easiness and complaisance.

I love you.

 

I remember the next time I said it….

I remember the words clearly

I shouted them.

Anguishing, tormenting in them, forsakenly

Shaking both viscerally and in my belief of anything.

Witnessing helplessly as my world fragmented and imploded.

I love you.

 

I remember the next times I said it…

I remember the words clearly

I disputed them.

Revealing, considering, on rented couch distractedly

Hoping that to share my confusion could somehow fix us.

Vacillating between anger, vulnerability, and culpability.

I love you.

 

I remember the seems-like-millionth time I said it….

I remember the words clearly

I sculpted them.

Reframing, reformulating expectations and commitments

Attempting to reinvent everything I was so sure of.

Impeding the sardonic intuitive foreboding.

I love you.

 

I remember the last time I said it….

I remember the words clearly

I mouthed them.

Whispering, hinting in the darkness alone

Anguishing for one moment I could feel they had truth.

Yearning for the days when these words were happy words.

I love you.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think....heavily edited January 2015

Reviews

[melissa]

you did a wonderful job with this. i have told many people i think we do our best work when we are hurting....

[Black Cat Fever]

This has quite the emotional impact. How the words 'I love you' went from a positive meaning to one bordering on violence, at least it seemed that way to me. Very chilling because of how real this poem could be.

[Elton Camp]

I think you did a marvelous job with this. It is nothing like what I expected from the title. Keep up the good work.

[TeenRomance2]

Very interesting poem. I love the first verses, where you "attempted" the words "Evaluating, distinguishing them experimentally". And the second verse, were you were more sure, "exclaiming" them "Embracing, admiring them genuinely. Trusting in their perseverance and poetry". I really enjoyed your poem!

[c.m.]

This is so beautiful....perfect.

[Alexandria]

This is so beautiful Lori
I loved how you made diffrent stages
the very begining so exciting and loving and happy but slowly
progressing to sadness
Im so sorry
amazingly written

with love Lexa

[Matthew Kult]

Your dance and play on words is amazing. You are very talented. This was an excellent read and a priviledge to do so. Amazing.

[deeps]

Wow this is real personal and deep here. There is so much here in which you have said. Very well presented.

[Alittlepertubed]

this was very good nice layout
;3

[SJ]

I like the way you've got the poem to flow, and how you show the different meanings 'I love you' can actually have the good and the bad.You have broken it up really well and the repetition of 'I remember' is really effective.