The Reunion without Jack-Nosy

A Story by ZackOfBridge

A highschool's ten year reunion is missing Jack Gregson.

The music has started in the gym. The former students, now ten years older, put there stickers on. ‘Remember me?’ the stickers say with their names sharpied on below. They dunk the ladle into the punch bowl, which has been thoroughly spiked by the former class president, and fill their plastic cups with a strong punch. Hopefully that will loosen them up for the questions.

•••

“Do I remember Jack? Jack-Nosy? S**t, how could I forget? Please tell me he’s coming tonight.” Says a former student with an illegible sticker.

“Tell you about Jack? The guy is a legend,” Says Terrance Lambert.

“I knew him since elementary school. I think that’s when it started happening, you know? You know the story right? More like a mythology,” Says Pat Sanders.

Until our next interviewee, there was trouble finding a person who could stand still long enough, or at all with thanks to the punch, to tell us about Jack Gregson or as previously denoted, Jack-Nosy.

“I guess I was his best bud, all the others liked him for the trick, but I was actually his pal,” says Jason Paul about Jack Gregson (Jack-Nosy). Jason stands with his back to the wall, and finishes his punch. He keeps a hand in his jacket pocket, and thumbs at a visible envelope inside. “If you really want to know about him go talk to some of the chicks, but come back to me later, I got more to tell and more punch to drink.” Jason walks to the punch bowl waving the envelope.

“In elementary he was always picking his nose, we used to tease him about it, called him Jack-Nosy and it stuck (laughs a buzzed laugh) wasn’t even clever, but we were kids--“ Hunter Woritz is cut off by his more punch filled former peer.

“He’s the one who got rid of the principal! Sucked her right up, they were looking for her for months.”

“D****t, I was getting to that. That’s what they say anyway. He was always picking his nose, like he was trying to find something in there. I guess one day he went too far and opened something up--oh God, no way, that’s Melissa. Alright I have got to go say what’s up to her. Just ask somebody, everyone knows the story.” Hunter Woritz moves along to a Melissa Ruiz who, in the privacy of loud music and others drunkenness, later reveals a more intimate side of Jack Gregson.

“Well I don’t know much about him when he was a kid, but I think it was junior year, he got this nose ring in his nostril. Oh, he was super hot, like unbelievable. Did we hook up? Sure, yeah definitely. He was the first guy to go down on me. He said it was his specialty. He’d go down there and rub that nose ring on it and I swear, hand over my heart, it felt like the whole universe was rubbing my c**t. Whoa, this s**t is strong, I really just said that. What is this music they're playing?”

“The story about Jack and the principal? We weren’t supposed to talk about it for a long time, you know? They say she went missing, ran away or whatever, but we all knew it was Jack. I mean I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose. It was a small school. Jack was shoving stuff up his nose, making a big show of it. Yeah, things that couldn’t have possibly fit in there. He got a stapler in there, and it was just gone--poof--like what the hell? Anyhow, he got called to the principal’s office for disruption and just like that she was gone. Jack said she got up and left, but no, just no. I don’t know how he did it, but he put her in there with the stapler. Is that what you wanted to know? I really got to piss.” Says Joshua Mayberry, the president of the reunited class.

“A stapler? Ha! That’s nothing, really, no seriously. Me and a couple other guys, we used to hang around Jack after school. Do lines, well Jack never cared for coke because well, nothing happened and it was just a waste to put it in his schnoz but we’d all get stoned, and he’d just start at it, man. A stapler! Ha! Nothing! You ever see a whole bike go up a guy’s nostril and just be gone? A skateboard? What about a cat? He always said he was practicing for the big trick. He felt bad about the cat, he stopped hanging around with us after that. Started hanging around what’s-his-face. Jason Something?”

“He got quiet around senior year. Still hot, but the quiet kind.” Says a composed Haley Kornuc as she digs in her purse and ignores further questioning.

“Tell you about Jack Gregson? He was a weirdo with a deep nose.”

“I think it was senior year when we last hooked up. We were behind the science building. We weren’t serious or anything, but he seemed so sad about something and I don’t know, I thought it would make him feel better to hook up with someone. We started, like, rubbing our noses. Whats that called? Eskimo kisses? Yeah, we started Eskimoing, and his nose ring kept brushing against me and it felt different. More intense. I was soaked. Gosh, can we keep that bit off the record?” Says Melissa, she has found us and apparently had more to tell. Also, she wanted to know if we would dance with her.

“She said that? God, she was always a s**t. No, Jack’s not coming tonight. And it’s probably best if he doesn’t. Who knows if he’s even still alive, Jason maybe? Jack ran away in the summer after senior year, you knew that right? I lived across from him, yeah but we were never like friends or hooked up or anything like that. We waved at each other sometimes. One night I was leaning out my window, smoking. I saw him come out of his house and he saw me too because he walked over and told me I shouldn’t be smoking, that I was too pretty. Get this; he shoved the f*****g cigarette in his nose. It was lit! And just gone, no smoke, nothing. He said he was leaving for good and I said ‘You owe me a stoge, Jack.’ But I quit smoking after that.” Says Elyse Fleischer.

Jason Paul has stepped out of the gymnasium and we follow him, not wanting to risk losing him or the bit about the envelope. We find him sitting on the ground weeping, laughing and looking down onto the envelope held in both his hands. The door to the gym closes and the music is only a shadow of itself.

“Its just weird to know he did it. He talked about doing it, but Goddamn, no one even noticed. I woke up this morning with this in my mailbox along with my bills and all that everyday crap, nothings changed.”

Jason Paul turns the envelope upside down and a small ring falls from it. It pings on the concrete.

“That’s his nose ring. If you touch it you’d know he did it. He’s gone and shoved the whole damn universe up his nose. Its weird, he’s done it, even weirder that it doesn’t make a difference at all. Did you even have any idea our universe is inside a guy’s nose? I bet you didn't.”

© 2014 ZackOfBridge

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Reviews

Mirjana Ilic

Oh my goodness. Beautiful work. I can't get this smile off my face, it's been a long time since someones writing has left me feeling giddy. I don't know what to say.. I just want to laugh and oh my this was great.
Great job hahaha :)

Posted 8 Years Ago

8 Years Ago

Thank you much! Took me a while to reply but I hope that smile hasn't left your face yet. Thanks for.. read more

Mute Ventriloquist

Haha this is great. Kind of reminds me if Rant in a way. This is non-fiction right?

Posted 9 Years Ago

Laura Lynn

There is always some kid in every school who gets the bad wrap for picking his nose.

Some people look really great with a nose ring even. It always seems to be the really beautiful girls with distinct features and nice noses that have them, at least for a time. At least that's what I noticed recently, she was the receptionist at a skin care doctor's office.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Chadvonswan

Zackary, Zackary...
This, this was just fine. This was great writing. Besides from the incredibly threaded story, the characters were hilarious, and magnificently crafted, even as brief as they were in the scene--seemed like grown ups who were kids from the early 90s. I thought you were going to end the story something like this, (your conclusion is f****n rad) but I thought he was (from the references of his depressed emotional behavior) going to put his foot in his nose and consume himself, hahaha. This is one of your best stories, and I usually say that about every one, but this one is a ripe fruit, sonny. Keep your nose in the words bud.