Two Halves: chapter 5

chapter 5 of two halves... :D

Two weeks had passed since the meeting with Ole’ Ernie. Not a word had come from the crying saints. No updates on supplies, nothing. He had even returned the magic district once to see if Betsalel had gone back to working in the teashop. He had not, some old balding man with a whining voice and watery eyes had replaced him. This absence of news might be exactly what Ole’ Ernie wanted. Without anything to keep him occupied Nicolas was forced to work out exactly how they were going to slip through dimensional space.

 

Getting into non-dimensional space was not the problem. Hundreds of people commuted to the land between worlds every day. The problem was going to present itself when he attempted to enter Earth-2. As soon as he tried to get to the dimensional gate the Auditors would gun him down.

 

Migration from Earth-1 to Earth-2 was strictly controlled by Salex Corps. Though truth be told they controlled most things now days. The greasy fingers of industry stretched into every part of life. The government used to control it, right after the war, but they had fallen out once their tech proved to be insufficient. The only reason the government even existed anymore is because it would be more expensive to remove them than leave it in place.

 

The fact of the matter came down to Nicolas needed Gene-mods. He needed to become another person, at least temporarily. Ole’ Ernie would know this by now as well, and he was sure to have connections. Ernie changed his appearance often enough to stay in with the latest mod fashions. He would have to contact Ernie and tell him he needed Gene replacement.

 

He rolled off of his bed. Where he had been lost in thought, and picked up the telephone. Ernie always kept a one-time use message drop account open. Betsalel had given him the number of the latest. He imputed this number into the phones sleek black number pad, and spoke one phrase.

 

“Ernie, we need to talk.”

 

A few days went by with still no information. Then on the night of the fourth day, while Nicolas was eating another meal pack on his couch there was a knock on his door. He pressed a button on the remote to show him the image from outside. Betsalel was standing there, no longer in his Chameleon suit. His baggy clothing hid his muscular physique rather handily. Not many people had bodies like him any more, most people who wanted to look good just got body-mods to add muscle on and suck fat. The effect was rather ruined when they ate themselves back to obesity, but Bastalel’s body was the real deal. Something he had worked hard for. Nicolas pressed another button on the cramped face of the remote, and there was a click from the lock.

           

“The door is open, come in.” He spoke through mouthfuls of gruel. Betsalel walked in and stopped next to the couch. He had not even glanced around the apartment, all business with him.

 

“Sir, Mr. Ernie would like to see you. He has set up a appointment for your body-mod with his best surgeon. I am to take you to him now.” Said Bestalel while starring out the window.

 

“Really, already? How did he know I wan- never mind about that, he probably knew before I did.” Responded Nicolas as he finished his bowl. He put it down on the table beside the couch as he got up.

 

“Lead the way.” He said as he followed Bestalel out the door. He again chose a winding path through the city, taking many unnecessary turns and doubling back several times. Nicolas would never have been able to recreate the route, and that was probably the point. He knew this town like the back of his hand after ten years, but obviously Bestalel knew it like his front.

 

They were in the higher end district of the city; shiny new TeraFlex gleamed with scrubbed surfaces. They entered one of the smaller buildings near the end of the street.

 

“I am here regarding a appointment for a Mr. Nicolas. He will be receiving Gene-mods.” Spoke Bestalel to the woman sitting behind a counter. She looked up at him from behind her bullet resistant window. She adjusted her glasses as she checked her computer.

 

“Nicolas… Nicolas, oh yes we have one here. With doctor, oh my.” She gasped slightly in surprise. Ernie had obviously chosen a viciously expensive surgeon for his own amusement. Having two men in working cloths come in and claim for the appointment to be for them probably gave a good chuckle.

 

“Well if you would input your retina scan sir.” A small devise that looked rather like a shiny silver pistol popped up from the counter. Nicolas leaned over and starred down the barrel. A flash of light left him momentarily blinded and it was done.

 

“Ok then, if you would just enter elevator A-1, that’s the one closest to the wall, it will take you directly to doctor Renti’s office.” She pointed towards an elevator at the back of the atrium. Nicolas and Bestalel entered this cramped compartment. There were no buttons, the smooth black door simply shut and the elevator started to slide slowly upward.

 

Eventually the elevator came to a stop, and the doors slid open, and revealed a waiting room. It was completely empty except for a few potted plants. A shadow moved from behind opaque glass leading to the room next door.

 

A man came through the doorway. He was wearing the classic white lab coat of doctors, and was smiling hugely. His body was obviously the product of his own surgery, the strong jaw line, the sandy blond hair, and the slim yet muscular body type. No one really had that body; it was just created as some arbitrary standard of beauty for women to look at. The fact that he was not real became even more evident as he spoke.

 

“Elo boys. What can I do for ya today?” His voice was deep and calming, with slightly musical overtones. He had a voice-chip. The things could make you sound like anyone. They had catalogues of thousands of people you could choose from.

 

“We can’t afford anything extra so don’t try to sweet talk us. Just take me to your bio-engineering room and let us get this started.” Spoke Nicolas to the man. He hated guys like him; all smoke and mirrors. No substance, no soul.

 

“Ok, have it your way, follow me.” The tall man turned around and strode back into his office.

Reviews

[Domenic Luciani]

just a few grammar problems, really nothing much.
Opaque is used to describe something that you can't see through at all, so to see something move behind something "opaque" wouldnt make sense. try translucent.
it could've been the fact that I'm reviewing this at midnight and I'm very tired, but I see nothing else wrong with this chapter. Definitely send me the request for the next one.

[Vivian]

Ohh...this is getting really good. I LOVE the idea of the chips and fake body and...you know what, that is actually really alarming! As much as we use plastic surgery and all that crap nowadays, I could see this happening...yikes.

SEE! That's another reason why I like this so much!! It...has that realistic scary touch to it, that makes you think. Oh, and I'm sorry this review took a little longer than my usual 'day after chapter 4' pattern. But I'm still reading, I promise! My only concern is the fact that it is SURGERY. Won't that be permanent, and therefore when he gets to Abigail, he'll look completely different and she won't recognize him...or he won't be the man she fell in love with? OH I SWEAR IF YOU END IT BADLY! No, no...just read...*sigh.* You better be glad this story is good!

[Dutch Jr.]

Great work, your writing is great. I really love your storyline, too.

[Miss Coral]

Great job :)

I could only find one thing that I would change:
rather than
"Nicolas leaned over and starred down the barrel of this pistol." I'd put "Nicholas leaned over and *stared down the barrel." Saying "this pistol" again is kind of redundant, and made me pause for a moment. Otherwise, great job! Very well done. :)

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

excelente!

[Manda]

o very well done!

[James Watts]

This is not bad. As far as errors, pretty much the same ones I have noted before, but not as many. The story is steadily picking up pace and leaving me wondering what next. Nice work.