The Royals vs the poet's realms

The Royals vs the poet's realms

A Poem by S.zaynab.kamoonpury
"

Appreciating the kingdom of poets

"

Of splendid thrones of gold
or treasures manifold

Of jewelled caskets
or lavish banquets

Of Emirs and rajahs
Of Sultan and Shahs

Of kings and queens
Of rulers and emperors

Of sparkling crowns
or flowing gowns

Of their subservient stewards and obedient pages
Of their stalwart squires and servile knaves

Of poor humble, docile minions
who tended to regal pavilions
And obeisantly carried royal palanquins
Oh and some were real life harlequins

Of castles and palaces
of abounding gold and silver
in ostentatious regal splendour

The sidelined fanning maids in waiting
Yet to me only one thing worth noticing
The minstrels who came to sing
from afar for the queen and king

For I'd rather be a poetess for kings
so to my tunes swayed a kingdom
than I be the king of mere subjects
and be filled with regal boredom!

So I could join ranks of
troubadours
and sing for the king
some folklores.

© 2017 S.zaynab.kamoonpury



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Well written. I like your use of words. And I love the last line, 'sing for the King, some folklores.' Was this a deliberate play on the word 'law'? And I too would much rather have a kingdom of poetry, that the glam and sham, of the higher echelons. good poem.


Posted 1 Week Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

1 Week Ago

Yay lets drink some honey sherbet to the kingdom of poetry. I like how u phrased it wow. And yes I s.. read more
Excellent poem! I like the freedom and emotion you chose to express being a poet. I honestly feel like your feelings through a poem can impact many kinds of people if you want it to. Keep up the nice work! :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

1 Week Ago

Thanx much for comment, glad it can mean to all sorts.
I don't agree with the sentiment (I definitely would ban boredom were I King!) but it's well penned. :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

1 Week Ago

U r free to disagree but I still think I'd feel better being a poetess than a queen. The royals need.. read more
So very nicely written, awesome

Posted 1 Week Ago


I loved this you did such a great job

Posted 1 Week Ago


Splendid imagery that grabs the reader. Great perspective, too, for all who read it. I particularly like how you contrast the two classes of people, and seem to say to the reader, "I'm good not being a royal!"

I'm not a scholarly poet, and I don't conform to a particular style or form. So, whatever works for you, is what you should do. In fact, I embrace nonconformity in poetry. A poet's originality and whimsical nature is what's most appealing. Nice work.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

2 Weeks Ago

That was such a kind n considerate comment coming from a great poet like who accepts diversity and d.. read more
Nice rhythm and rhyme with a great theme to tie it all together, thoroughly enjoyed reading your work...

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

2 Weeks Ago

Thanx soo much for your feedback. Best wishes.
i enjoyed the flow, the story and found it rather enchanting.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

2 Weeks Ago

Aw thanx soo much for nice review. Now im curious to read yours.
An interesting first poem for writerscafe.

I enjoyed the theme; rather to reign in the realm of poets than to reign as a King.

I agree with the review of girlandpen below. Poetry either follows structure, in both rhyme and verse or is written freely. To mix the two makes for a disjointed write to the reader. So while your idea is very well thought out, and the description and imagery is sound, the disjointed structure and rhyme scheme tends to confuse this reader and restricts the flow of the piece.
Perhaps next time choose your style and stick with it all the way through. Your write will be all the better for it.

So, well done on the theme and imagery, but take the time to edit and choose your style for your next write. I look forward to reading it soon.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

3 Weeks Ago

Thanx for your review but like I told Rachel , many readers in past online sites and contests tell .. read more
Doodley

2 Weeks Ago

Fair enough. I will not tell you how to write or what style you choose. And as for those on other si.. read more
S.zaynab.kamoonpury

2 Weeks Ago

Oh noh don't misunderstand me, u are always welcome to give me constructive criticism, all i meant .. read more
good job with the rhyming and fitting all that detail/imagery into a poem! just a suggestion... I noticed some of your couplets fit the same syllabic pattern whereas some of them didn't. I personally think this might flow a little better if you evened out the syllables in the lines that go together. the first two lines in the poem both have 6 syllables and they flow very nicely when read :)

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


S.zaynab.kamoonpury

3 Weeks Ago

Warm thanx for your constructive criticism. Many readers tell me they understand and enjoy my poetr.. read more

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Added on December 24, 2017
Last Updated on December 24, 2017

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S.zaynab.kamoonpury
S.zaynab.kamoonpury

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Have been writing poems for some time and readers say they get message and/or entertainment from them. I'm Indian, but my ancestors/forefathers were Mesopotamian , Middle Eastern /Arabian. more..

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