Crystal Meth Clear

Crystal Meth Clear

A Poem by zer0

My gleaming blade it slows the heart
This shaking hand a perfect calm
This mind is clear as crystal meth
These eyes adhere like canting death.
And all the world becomes one shade
A perfect crimson red I've made
I know at once what must be done
To escape, the morning sun
Sweet,

Seductive,

Suicide.


© 2009 zer0



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Bud
I do understand this...excellent metaphors! As though I am speaking! Excellent!

Posted 8 Years Ago


This piece is uncommonly satisfying, given the vague nature and potentiality for banality to creep into this kind of theme.The AB rhyme scheme carries the flow well, and the convenient rhyme between meth and death tickles me mildly.

I might suggest finding a way to extend the rhyme scheme into the first two lines; the outcome may or may not be better.

I might also suggest complete (or at least consistent) punctuation.

On a final note, the alliteration at the end was an effective way to close; I especially enjoyed the choice of the word "seductive."

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on April 6, 2009

Author

zer0
zer0

Perth, Australia



About
Dark, artistic and self-destructive. more..

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