Im the girl your mom warned you about

Some girls should come with a warning label on them :)

I’m going around stealing hearts,

Because my heart was broken abruptly.

 

I collect these sad, damaged, barely beating hearts,

Because he has mine in the palm of his hand still.

 

I’ll play your pitiful pathetic emotions like chess,

Because he played mine oh to well.

 

I’ll chew you and spit you out like raw food

because he used me and left me mangled

 

I dance around the truths of my love to you

Because he knew far too well that the truth is to cliché 

 

I’ll look into your eyes and swear we’re true

Because he eyes held a disguise of white lies

 

I’ll rip your heart out in a thousand pieces

Because he thought 2 pieces wasn’t enough

Author's Note

Was inspired by a song to write this , Also needs to write more

Reviews

[KillerWithWords]

Fantastic. The content here is raw and perfectly unseasoned.
"I’ll rip your heart out in a thousand pieces
Because he thought 2 pieces wasn’t enough"
This last line is a little discerning.
Because your character is taking part of the very cycle that destroyed her....

[Joe_VILOT_]

yes what it about love that seems so worn out so un-kept not just between two of the same age or otherwise yet what is it that once treasured is now torn asunder not even for an early grave just a cheap ghoul at a decayed diner.....
an analogue of something, someone who has broken many hearts that is sadly what may have happened
yet the future is always unwritten...


55557/55557

[Perfect Mistake]

What a way to perceive my writing.

[John Fitzgerald]

Collecting a jar of hearts are we? ;)

Very emotive, direct and confident in delivery.

I'm not sure what you mean by...the truth is to cliche though.

[Richard]

I like it very much ... it's sort of jekyll/hyde kind of thing and it's like you'll get your revenge for that evil guy ... very interesting :)

[Buddhistboy73]

Well, you can sure sense the emotional strength behind this write. Deeply felt emotions exploding on the page here.

I particularly like the final 2 lines...:)

Thanks for sharing this write. It seems like you really went through it in this story....

BB

[Damien Thibodeaux]

My sweet revenge! Not only dark, but bordering on insanity! I can feel the emotionally disturbed mind overriding the hurt to take revenge on anyone caught in your web. Here is my rapier. Cut their hearts out! Love it - great write.

I hope you aren't offended if I make some suggestions for edit... Line 6, "to" should be "too", or you could subsititute "too" with "so" "...oh so well". Line 7, might sound better if you add "up": "I'll chew you 'up' and spit you out..." Line 10, "to" should be "too". And the final line, you might want to change the numeral "2" to the word "two", because you spelled out "thousand" instead of using a numeral in the previous line, unless you meant "2" as artistic expression. Sorry, I'm an English Major. I do love what you wrote.

[Perfect Mistake]

Why thank you kind sir. Why be offended when offered with help? Again thank you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and they will all pay for the heartbreak of one...

powerful write.

jacob

[The Nude Writer]

Awesomely written poem :)

[MAC]

my heart is already destroyed so my mom would approve :)

seriously though this is a good poem. creative!

[Perfect Mistake]

haha thank you

[zainul]

Revenge!