Rune. Chapter 1/1

Rune. Chapter 1/1

A Story by Rune---a Novel
"

Ciel had no idea what she was looking at, other than that it was some sort of elf; a conflagration of just about every race of elf and at the same time none of them.

"

Ciel had no idea what she was looking at, other than that it was some sort of elf; a conflagration of just about every race of elf and at the same time none of them. He was lithe and small like an elf, standing no more than a longbow and a half. He was beautiful like an elf, with flowing strands of silver hair falling down his back and sharp, angular features like a sharp, angular arrowhead, too angular to be a Forest Elf, or any elf that walked in sunlight for that matter. The sun had a way of smoothing hard edges. And he was strong like an elf, with taught, lean musculature that stretched over him like his skin was pulled too tightly, a sinewy coat hanger like a young boy. He was young.

 

But what had Ciel scratching her head more than anything at the young, beautiful elf lying prostrate and unconscious on the moss covered ground was his skin. Right then it was flaring hot pink, scorched from the sun, which led to her theory that he was not a surface dweller if his sun defense was so low, but the palms of his hands were blank white. Decalescent off-powder pale that wasn't just white, but blank white, no skin pigmentation whatsoever. If her partner standing over her fingering his saber was right, that he was indeed a Shadow Elf, then he was the first and last of his kind.

 

“The Shadows will come for him,” warned Nareth. “That or he'll kill us himself when he wakes. We should kill him now.”

 

“He's not even armed,” Ciel rolled her almond eyes, flowing in sharp epicathic folds.

 

“It doesn't matter. Shadows are killers from the Lone Mountains. They only come above ground to kill things.”

 

“Like little children and fuzzy bunnies. I know what Shadows are Nareth, thank you, and he is not a Shadow. Now help me with him or run back to the village and get someone else to help me with him.” Ciel grabbed the young elf's arms gently but Nareth crossed his own in front of him.

 

“Might be that I run back to the village and stay there, let you take your own chances with the Shadows.”

 

“Then I'd have to do something nasty that I haven't quite thought of yet, but I'm sure I will in the time it takes me to get back to the village with him myself.”


Nareth grunted and grabbed his legs. “If you even make it back to the village alive.”

 


© 2009 Rune---a Novel



My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Reviews

This a good follow up scene to the previous one. The dialog depicts a history of Rune's race (at least their belief of it) which helps give some character and world background.

A few things stuck out that could use some polish.

"He was beautiful like an elf, with flowing strands of silver hair falling down his back and sharp, angular features like a sharp, angular arrowhead, too angular to be a Forest Elf, or any elf that walked in sunlight for that matter." This line runs on a bit and there's a fair amount of repetitive words so it doesn't quite flow smoothly.

"Epicathic" I think is supposed to be epicanthic. This is more of a specific medical anatomy term, so I'm not really sure it fits best in a fantasy setting.

"Decalescent" again I think is a little too off the mark for this kind of storytelling. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/decalescent I had to look up the definition, but even still the term doesn't feel like it fits with the description going on.

I'm interested to see where this goes. Keep writing!



Posted 7 Years Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

238 Views
1 Review
Added on November 25, 2009
Last Updated on November 25, 2009

Author

Rune---a Novel
Rune---a Novel

About
What if you were the last of your kind? Or worse, what if your kind didnt exist? An Albino Dark Elf faces these questions as he runs from danger to danger. Luckily, for an elven acrobat, running is th.. more..

Writing



WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.