Lexi Slaughter

Meet my new heroin in my upcoming novel - This is just a short character sketch of a scene I have her in.

Lexi sits on a steel bench overlooking the rough waters as waves slam against the rocks. The howling wind whips her copper blonde hair into a frenzy but she doesn’t seem to care. Distantly, the rumbles coming from the approaching dark sky draws closer but instead of leaving she stays sitting, patiently awaiting the fury to descend. Taking a deep breath, she allows the fresh, fishy air to line her nostrils and licks the salt as it flecks upon her lips. 
For her, this is what peace is. Her face takes on a serene expression, gazing into the natural order of things with a small smile curving her mouth. She closes her eyes as if to savour the echoes of thunder drifting closer to the shore, to savour the sounds of rocks crumbling under the pressure of the choppy sea, or the first cold drops as the sky begins to cry. 
Finally, she slowly opens her eyes as the sparse drops turn into a steady flow and tilts her head letting the water cascade down her face. The rolling darkness is much closer now, and instead of flashes of lightening she notices spirals flaming across the sky and striking the water beneath " a powerful combination of danger and beauty. 

The wind picks up pace and she can no longer stand her hair as it fans out behind her. Using the elastic around her wrist she pulls the hair into a pony tail, caressing the sides until all the loose strands can be tied in place. Letting her hands fall back into her lap she brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs as the temperature turns chilly. The storm is almost upon her now. The lightning strikes are hitting closer and the claps of thunder are so loud it threatens to burst her ear drums. She doesn’t want to leave, even as the rain stings her flesh as its descent quickens, but she knows she has to. She unfolds herself from the chair and makes a dash for cover 100 meters away. She heads into a coffee shop and draws everyone’s attention. She drops her eyes to the ground careful not to make eye contact but still feels their gazes taking in her heavy clothing as it sticks to her womanly curves. She hates when people notice her.

After a few seconds, hushed conversations surround her and she blows out a breath of relief. The nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach begins to dissolve and she moves to the window to watch as Mother Nature’s rage reaches land. 
The sounds of the howling wind are more eerie inside, as it slips through the cracks in the windows and although the smell of rich, blended coffee calls to her, she longs to be back outside. She doesn’t know why she seems to be drawn to nature’s most dangerous emotion, perhaps it’s because the darkness that swirls the clouds into a tantrum also swirls inside of her, perhaps Lexi and Mother Nature’s dark side have a lot more in common than she thinks.

Reviews

[NoblePariah]

This is good, especially the imagery, it's very easy to picture the thunderous storm as it makes its way to the shore. It does a very good job setting up her character, without the use of physical dialogue.

[Tom]

I like the imagery very much, it is close to my heart as I too love the power of storms and the lashing of rain. The only thing I would ask is if you were going for a sad or fearful ambience, because this is what I sensed. I felt like you wanted to portray Lexi as someone at awe and impassioned by nature's strength, certainly the descriptions aided in this, however I felt their was a certain gloominess to her that didn't quite fit, it was very close and I enjoyed the piece very much but there was a slight incongruence between Lexi and the storm that I felt shouldn't be there, but I may have misinterpreted. Overall, I would say you have set the scene very well and the character clearly has depth even if that depth felt slightly off to me. I would be interested to see how my conflict between Mother Nature and Lexi's personality would iron out.

[Catherine Schythe]

Hi Sammie!! I love how you write your descriptions! that was awesome!! I love reading it and it painted a picture of her, I imagined myself in that scene.