A Long Night

The night is bleak and bleaker still,
And heavy hangs the brooding air.
The moon is lost, as are the stars
As is their lustre from afar,
All drowned in darkness and despair.

The night is cold and colder still.
The guests have left; did they arrive?
Alone you watch the gloomy waltz
Of misty frost as dread befalls
And dances into night's archives.

The night is lonely; lonely still;
And from your heart's forbidden rails
You strive to steal a fulsome sight
Of knowing faces and delight
Till all you get are cold entrails.

The night is long, and longer still,
While counting seconds with your heart.
You wait for dawn, that never breaks
And rue your never dead mistakes
And try to stand up and depart.

A long night - epilogue

The night is gone, you're breathing - still.
It tried its best to push downhill
Your fragile thoughts till when until
It knew that it could never kill
Your patient heart and silent will.

Reviews

[FlawedByDesign]

I'll agree with Linda in that the first 2 stanzas are the strongest to me. having said that the 3rd is the weakest in my opinion. Something about the line,
"Till all you get are cold entrails." - does not sit well with me.

I love the introductory lines to each stanza and how you always repeat "still" - this does a great job in elongating the night.

Nice job.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love this poem. To me, it's almost as if Lord Byron and Pablo Neruda collaborated to write the perfect poem. The first and second stanzas for me are the strongest ... the vocabulary, meter, tone, etc., are all perfect.

Linda Marie Van Tassell

[Alicante lullaby]

OMG,Razi how can you be so good with rhyming...come on Doc,tell me your secret.

[Jasmine]

wow...excellent.
first stanza reminds me of Hardy poetry.
Keep up the good work.

[Radha Jaisingh]

Another beautiful work:)

[Poeticpiers]

excellent in both form and content Nice to see metered and rhymed poetry a raity these days

[Emily B]

I am no good with rhyming forms. My words won't fit in the spaces of them. This is lovely. I was glad to read this work.

[Middling]

You really convey the sense of passing time and despair. When i read this it reminds me of someone who is sick or in a coma, yet i could be compltely wrong...

[faryn wolff]

The impression I got from this poem was of melancholy, until the very last line which had a hopeful, resilient tone. I had to pause and read over it again as it seems to be one of your more emotionally striking poems. You’ve guided the emotions clearly through your choice of words and general poem structure. As I read it again it almost felt like a tarrying breeze in the night that prompted me to pave my way past gloom to find an optimistic state of mind. As always, wonderful write; you truly are a talented poet.

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

This poem sounds so pure and feels so light. It feels like a soft breeze. And the lines,
'Alone you watch the gloomy waltz
Of misty frost as dread befalls
And dances into night's archives'
was over the top! Great job!