Uncle Carbuncle's bundle

This is NOT a tongue twister!

Old Uncle Carbuncle, the one with furuncles

In circles on his temples, went for a trundle,

But stumbled and fumbled on a strange looking bundle.

He mumbled as he tumbled, and got up and grumbled;

He kicked at the bundle, but it started to rumble;

He bumbled and gambled and started to trample,

And opened the bundle as it started to crumble,

And started to tremble and got up humbled,

For cobbled in the bundle were photos of uncles,

Dotted with pebbles and nibbled by troubles.

Uncle Carbuncle shed lacrimal bubbles,

Looked at the rubble and vowed to stay humble.

 

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Unlike most tongue twisters, which seem childlike and amateurish, I actually find that yours is very charming. It has the ring of truth about it, reads remarkably well, and I'm impressed with the rhyming as well.

Linda Marie

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

this is fantastic fare that hints of village spices imbuing fables of ago~ the tongue twisty wrap around makes it a delight to play with on the tongue~ rolling it this way and that in verbal play~savored fun!~ =)~

[Adelia Alighieri]

hahaha this is funnyyy :P And I agree with Dinesh, I can't really 'sing' it. :P

Although I find the rhyme a bit too 'itchy' it does work and it shows you can write such sort too.

[deeps]

Awesome write here. I like this alot. Perfect rhyme scheme and flow.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Must be tongue twister, eh mate? I must try one too. :) I guess you asked for a cure for apathy in FB. Well, here it is ;-) This one made me smile, ain't that enough to tackle apathy? :-) You might also wanna see this :

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rpuetter/393633/

I'm sorry, but in terms of 'Tongue twisting', this one's better than yours and it's the most 'viewed' poem on WC :)

Keep writing.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

And you are really rhyming activated ain't ya..clever :)..i see you are studying hard ;)

[Ruth]

Abdul, extremely clever piece love!
The structure is amazing!
Adds tension and power to the poem, which actually feels like a riddle almost! lol
AWESOME work
xx