Acceptance

tried something different with the rhyme i think it came out decent

ice water runs through my veins
begging me to stay sane
trying to keep my cool
before i look the fool

but i feel a monster under my skin
fueled by my anger and your sin
ripping pulling tearing at my insides
never letting me forget your lies

i feel it break away from its cage
screaming out its rage....


the damage is done
venom pours from my lips
and just as soon as its begun
the rage passes and i come to grips

with a new kind of pain
i see the look in your eyes
and any feelings that remain
drowns and dies

you leave me to my guilt
eating away at my life
forcing a new cage built
and making me wish for a knife...

but my nerve wanes
causing me to refrain
life is full of pain
and feelings we have to sustain

this will not break me
it will make me free
able to truly see
that im better without a we...

i must survive
if only so i can strive
to show i didn't deserve this
that im someone your gonna miss

Reviews

[Elanra]

Holy s**t!
this is insane!!! I cant believe you did this!

this is... i have only one word in my vocabulary for this piece Sean...

Excellent.

this poem you "tried" is flawless. It has an incredible flow and perfect rhymes which make it look soo easy! Thank you for making me read this but i bet you never thought it would backfire on you...

Cus after reading this, i will never again, let you underestimate yourself again, be hard on yourself in front of me... You are doomed Sean.

100 as rating, and added to the reading list................... I think you should "try" some more... xD

[Elizabeth]

This is so very well done. The rhyme scheme is flawless. The images are sharp, and the raw emotion boils right off the page. I have been here... and this captures it so well I found the anger stirring in me again.

[azlamalo]

Your wording rocks

[Liza]

nice flow to the rhyme that is filled with dark pain but the character is looking to release its darkness into someone the former lover is going to miss.

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oh wow, this is very powerful! There's not much I can say as you've left me speechless with this one!
Great job!

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i absolutely love this, good write

[Raven]

wow i really like that ...
really awesome poem ....

[SilentDreamer]

I love this. Flows well while creating something powerful. Great job! Awesome.

[Allison]

This is wonderful! i like how you played with your words. Great job!

[Katie]

wow. This is fantastic. The imagery is amazing. I can't wait to read more of your stuff. Keep it up.

[Screamplay]

Wow. This would make a very good song if I must say so myself :) 100/100