Generosity

Generosity

A Poem by Acucena G.
"

Its a poem which reflects the first moment a person find love and have a relationship with the lover .

"





First came your charm
which  brought a lot of happiness
when I was in my corner
Saved by your generosity

I want to feel natural when
you get closer
I feel safe when you are near 
Protected I am when you give me a powerful hug
Joy is what your presence brings me


Acucena G.

© 2013 Acucena G.


Author's Note

Acucena G.
I hope you read and give your opinion

My Review

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Featured Review

I myself have not found someone with whom this feeling sticks, but I do understand it. I must say that I enjoyed how you added the picture at the very beginning, and it was quite a good choice at that. What I must say, though, is I feel like this isn't a finished poem. It seems as if it stops right in the middle of a thought, and because of that I urge you to expand upon the poem. A nice go overall, though. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

I myself have not found someone with whom this feeling sticks, but I do understand it. I must say that I enjoyed how you added the picture at the very beginning, and it was quite a good choice at that. What I must say, though, is I feel like this isn't a finished poem. It seems as if it stops right in the middle of a thought, and because of that I urge you to expand upon the poem. A nice go overall, though. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the way you describe the birth of love and hope. Real love should be when we are not afraid to share and give all parts of us. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much for reading and complimenting my poem.
This is a nice and comforting piece. A mutual respect, simple images to convey, very clear writing. Cool.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I am glad you liked the poem
Short, sweet and to the point! :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you Syble
Syble

10 Years Ago

You're welcome!
Beautiful, simply filled with love.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you Jack
Life is not meant to go through alone.And hence we all strive for that one love that makes us whole.I dont know I think we can be happy with many others Not that there is but one. However it only takes one to build a life with

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Yes, you are right
This is like a warm hug on the page, feeling secure is such a delightful feeling, and you've given us that with this read. Nice one.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much Frieda
I love how you put a spin to the word generosity, no so much as giving something physical that one can hold but the love, the security, the joy.
"Protected I am when gain a powerful hug from you" here there is bad grammar there should be a word in-between gain, and a but that's your choice.
Over all great job expressing those new wants and expectations that come with going into a new relationship. All that a woman or man wants when he or she finds a new lover. I really liked it :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you Imara
I love the simplicity of this poem. Such natural human elements in your chosen words. And they hold a certain charming allure that makes this feel so warm and real.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you for supporting me
Great idea...you went somewhere with this that I think many people can relate to. First there is the charm, and then there is the rest. People don't always stay the way that they were when we first met them...unfortunately.

On a poetic style and technical note...you have some tense issues: "I wanted" and then "I feel" instead of "felt". Just a few little things that need ironing out, but overall, nicely done.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acucena G.

10 Years Ago

Thank you very much Sarah

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1182 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 7, 2013
Last Updated on May 8, 2013
Tags: #love, teen, romance, fun
Previous Versions

Author

Acucena G.
Acucena G.

Chimoio, centre, Mozambique



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