Soundless Voice

Soundless Voice

A Story by Commit it then to the flames

Soundless Voice

 

It was like the night was put on mute, everything was quiet as the white snow falls gently down. The world around me grows colder with every second I hold my five yea old sister’s dying body in my arms. The snow that was flowing, lands on Lilly’s purple lips. What a sad way it all ends. Tears roll soundlessly doen my face as more snow falls to the ground. In my mind, I see you play with them in piles, and smile in the white.

“I wonder what my voice sounds like now…?” I thought bitterly. But it wouldn’t matter if I say anything, its not like you could hear anything.

 

The snow covers every but of anything, and your heartbeat slowly fades. There’s nothing I could possible do but embrace you. But if I could, I’d ask you one thing, let me hear your sweet voice one more time. Please don’t leave me, you’re all I have…

Glazed over eyes that don’t work anymore, it’s not like they could see a thing now. The dark world is motionless, everything is gone, everything doesn’t move or make a sound, unless it be the snow.

 

Lilly, your body has now become so cold, and your voice is long gone. I can’t do anything. I cant even melt away with you. But, please hear all my words, please smile at me again. My tears no longer exist, I cant use them to make you melt away.

I’d ask of you one thing, if I could, let me disappear alongside your body. I love you with all of my being, and now there’s no way to tell you. Even if I scream with everything I have, you, nor your voice will ever return to me.

“AHHHH!”

 

Falling snow that is ever so gentle, I beg for you to never stop falling. I want you to take me with that person I hold dear. Please allow everything to wither away, by my voice deepened by sadness.

 

I hope to make it all, turn to white.

© 2011 Commit it then to the flames


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This is such an atmospheric story, the snowy world mingling with the cold of loss. I could feel the desperation and bereavement increasing. If you do decide to edit this, it would help the flow if the tense was more uniform. You seem to favor present tense, which totally works, so changing "was" to "is", "could" to "can" and so forth would probably make it that much stronger and easier to follow. Wonderfully done, though!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on March 3, 2011
Last Updated on August 5, 2011

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Commit it then to the flames
Commit it then to the flames

Australia



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Yeah, I'm leaving this account to start a new one, but I'm not deleting this as it has quite a bit of my writing. So if you see some writing from this profile on another, it's probably my new accoun.. more..

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