Drowning Down

Not the best poem ever...

I am drowning

In a pool,

Of you're despair.

It's choking me,

Pushing me under

The waves of death.

Let me free.

Let me free.

I whisper the phrase

Over again.

It doesn't do

Any good.

The sorrow goes

Into my mouth.

I have no choice

But to swallow.

I swallow you're despair

And sorrow. 

Reviews

this is really good. I like it a lot

[HopelesslyDevoted]

amazingly true and very well written! your an awesome poet!

[kikieatszombies]

amazing poem, im writing a new poem and I was wondering if you could give me your feedback. Thanks

[halflives]

Deep, very deep. I can feel your silent screams radiate through the poem.

[Miss Fox]

"I have no choice
But to swallow.

I swallow you're despair
And sorrow."

I get the overwhelming affect others can have on one's own emotions, and you capture it so well.

[Jessi Berlasty]

"Of you're(your) despair." "I swallow you're(your) despair"

It's a nice poem. Once again, I am not the expert of these things. Your grammar and structure is very well done though ^.^

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Wow. This is raw.
I was swept away by your emotion.

[Steve]

Wow. very powerful! and intense. Perhaps you should use a different font though? I like how you organized this write though...

[compositionc]

Wow.