Her.

Her.

A Story by alankillsmonsters
"

A short, simple interaction which fiddles a certain part of the mind, an unhindered, untouched, sacred part.

"

Her.

 

          We come across many kinds of people in our life. Some turns into besties while some into late night text buddies, few into enemies and few into those “we just can’t stand their gut, for no reason at all!”. Then comes all of the crush, in front of whom we just turns into this lamest/ clumsiest/unluckiest person ever. Further comes all the failed relationships and all those heartbreaks, again and again like a loop, it comes to the point where you start to think that you are just not meant to be with anyone and probably gonna die alone. And then it all filters down to that one person.

        This person has no name or category; you just don’t know who that person is. He turns your life upside down and shows you the true self, the true self that you always knew but never really wanted to accept or realize. He gets into your head and turns you miserable. You just hate him and wants to cease any and every interaction with him but then your life just comes to standstill and you curse yourself that why you even met that person. The feeling that- life just wants to play games with you by placing that person in your life, like someone is just sipping a beer and watching my life sitting in the balcony. Having fun up there?

      It all started back in November 2016, we could all feel that how cold Pune was going to be that winter. I should had sense the sign of storm coming in my life. It was a normal cheerful day, I did my chores early that morning as always, woke up my roomie, lazy lizzy!, she is a happy pain in my butt or I am in love and that’s why it felt all chivalrous! I don’t know anymore! Anyways, his name is David Strongheld. Heavy name right? I know! He is in defence, I always liked guys in uniform. They all have this certain personality about themselves, strong, confident, tall. Well I am 5’1, even kevin hart seems tall for me. Anyways he is a great boyfriend, a little uptight but nice.

Love potion wore out till that evening, everything turned lazy, it was like time has changed its s**t, now every 4 hours is a minute! I got back home from hospital, changed into something comfortable and loose as hell, got on my bed and started scrolling down my whatsapp contact. I replied my boyfriend and turned to read all the whatsapp statues alphabetically. I love reading them, gives you a sneak peak of whats happening in their life without really talking with them.

“Anton- Times they are changing; Good for you anton”, I said to myself while my back over the bed, staring at that screen and scrolling down. “Alfred- I hate her so dearly that my heart hurts in happiness; Way to go alfred! She was a b***h anyways”, giggled to myself saying that and scrolled down, there it was.

I turned over the bed with a wide smile over my face, giggling to myself again, looking at the next one. “Alan- Rachel Mown! Text me if you see this”. That’s my name! Why he wants to talk with me? Its been years. The last time I remember seeing him it was like 6 years back, we were in college in Mumbai, I was doing science as my major, he was doing the same. We were in the same class and Davon asked for my number from the far end of the class during our lecture, it was exciting. Alan and Davon were buddies back then, little chubby, 5’5 I guess, dark, with scrawny beard patch over his chin, nice short hairs with a no style sense. He was not much of a talker, Davon on the other hand knew how to hold a convo. Davon and I got along shortly after that, was it the way he asked for my number or the convo? I don’t know but it was exciting. Alan just stayed at the sidelines.

After all these years, why now? Whatever it was, its kinda cute. I smiled and pressed his name on my screen. The picture of a guy looking away from the screen with tattoos all over his shaved head popped with a chat box. Of course it is not his, I laughed at my silly little thought and typed. “say”; with a laughing emoticon and sent him. I stared at the the chat box smiling and saw his last seen changed into online. A reply came back,“ I just wanted to say that I missed you”. My smile widen. I replied him back, “Hahahahaha that’s cute, that really made me happy; smileys and laughing emoticon”. He replied, “Thank you thank you, so hows everything?”.

                    “Everything is great, I am in Pune, and I am doing PG in medical wbu?”

“That’s great, I am a copywriter in an ad agency, I fell in love with words”

                        “That’s really nice!”

“Love life?”

                           “You meant dating?, Its nice, He is in defense, Mr. Strongheld

‘Woahh that’s a heavy name”

                                                                 I know right! Haha, It started just back in August and you know what my last boyfriend was in army, we met in club.

“I sense a type here”

     “I don’t have a type, its just a coincidence, I just like guys who are responsible, who don’t throw life for fun, smoking and boozing all the time. I like guys who are willing to take a responsibility.”

“I would say you still do have a type,

 you just don’t know it consciously, you are drawn

to certain kind of people.”

                                                                                    “Might be I am”

“Interesting, I haven’t met anyone who thinks like that,

Atleast who is in her early 20s”

     “I like guys who are passionate in life about something”

“Yea I get what you mean,

A guy should be passionate about something in his

Life, A thing that makes him feel alive”

 

What was that?. I sat over the bed upright and took some time to sink that all in. It was like he is trying to get inside my head. Weird. Never felt anything like this. No one has made me ran out of words. I am the one who ends the chat, not others. Was it really him? Time can change people so much? I am now scared to talk with him, don’t know what he will let out now from my head. It was nothing; then why am I so freaked out?      

 


© 2017 alankillsmonsters



Author's Note

alankillsmonsters
Should i continue? And what you think about it? Dont forget to comment about Alan.

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like the voice at the beginning of the story. The casualness of it immediately pulled me in because I felt like the narrator was inviting me into a conversation about the kind of ride that life takes you on. The additional narrator commentary continuing on throughout keeps a nice consistency to the story and made me engaged because it was as if she was asking me personally to relate, which was a nice interaction. I definitely think you should continue! I want to learn more about Alan because he seems like an interesting character and in this we only get to see a snippet of his personality. He seems to be hinting at a personal passion in his last message and it makes me curious about his intentions with reaching out to Rachel. The main thing to look out for is making sure that your verb tenses match so that it is an easy read. Aside from verb tenses and some grammatical errors, the potential is very intriguing!

Posted 1 Year Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

alankillsmonsters

1 Year Ago

Thanks a lot, it means a lot to me



Reviews

The idea of putting the conversation is awesome! Very well written and expressed. 😊😊

Posted 1 Year Ago


An engaging read, does leave you wanting to know more, enjoyed :) x

Posted 1 Year Ago


Interesting piece! Relatable and smooth flow.
I loved the voice of narrator.
Although, it does seem like a promising love entanglement coming up, I feel the loose chord at the end can be turned into many things!
Good going! Will definitely like to more!
And Alan seems like a nice person, but definitely a bit bored in life.
Ping me, whenever the next chapter comes up!
Good luck!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Yes, you should continue. Interesting story and written entertainingly.
Alan seems to be a very interesting character, also, a tad dominant but in a good way, the good kind of pushing. You could work out the psychology of this character in your expansion as you mentioned he's the kind of guy who gets into one's head. ..
Apart from that, there are a few grammatical mistakes in it you should correct but nice piece.

Posted 1 Year Ago


pls do....i really need to see where all this is going

Posted 1 Year Ago


I will really tell you continue like a thousand times because you got a good hang of it.. From the start till the end you got all my attention..
Hoping to read more of it.. Superb..

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alankillsmonsters

1 Year Ago

Thanks a lot :)
I implore you to continue. It is so very amazing. The narration is so fluid and casual- making easier for people to connect themselves to her. I also liked how you presented the smallest detail in a very fine manner - like everything is played right before ur eyes. Also te ending is thought provoking. Hope it to continue further. However, it leaves food for thought for the reader.
Beautify written.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alankillsmonsters

1 Year Ago

i happy you liked it
yes, you should. because you are simply amazing. I want to know the next stage do continue please.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alankillsmonsters

1 Year Ago

Haha thanks a lot (:
I like this. It felt like i was in a conversation with someone which can be hard to achieve. I think this is a very relatable piece of work, and that you should definitely continue. I would like to see more of Alan's character in the future when you continue. One thing though, it would be beneficial for you to work on your grammar and the way you transition from paragraph to paragraph. These two things would make the read much smoother, but otherwise the content had so much potential, and I hope to read more soon!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

alankillsmonsters

1 Year Ago

I will work on it, thanks a lot (:

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954 Views
17 Reviews
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Added on November 22, 2016
Last Updated on May 1, 2017
Tags: Love, mystery, teen, mysterious guy

Author

alankillsmonsters
alankillsmonsters

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