Superman

Octain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s hard to watch her wait for you,

to see the pain that she withstands;

still reaching for your callous hands.

 

Though you had other things to do,

her lonely years brought many tears;

a father’s love she never knew.

 

Each broken promise; grief expands.

It’s hard to watch her wait for you.

 

Author's Note

the form

Octain Specifics –
eight lines as two tercets and a couplet, eight syllables per line with the first line repeated (as much as possible) as the last. Meter is iambic or trochaic tetrameter, but fine to just count eight syllables per line for those who prefer that.

Rhyme scheme -

A-b-b
a-c/c-a
b-A
(A = repeated refrain line. c/c refers to line five having midline (internal) rhyme (eg. here/sneer), which is different to the a- and b-rhymes)

Octains are a form of poetry devised by Luke Prater

Reviews

[Awdures]

But watch we do as single mothers. My daughter was a daddy's girl before he walked out. She doesn't understand why he went, but I know she misses him and wants him back. IT's so heartbraking when she asks for him and he's the other side of the country. Love that you used the octain as a medium for this poem, it's what's left unsaid and the refrains are absolutley perfect

[.n.]

This poem stirs my heart in a dark place. It is like a record of my own childhood. There is so much emotion packed in these words, yet it is so brief- fantastic. I am enjoying your work more and more!

[L]

Great Octain, Christi. Extra props for doing it in iambic tetra. I should post some of mine on here really.

I feel the pain very keenly as I read and reread this. It makes me sad and angry to think that someone could behave this way. Emotive piece; excellent