Susan's Protection

Susan's Protection

A Story by AndyLazer
"

This is a short story/writing I did for fun going off another users prompt. It was my first 'fantasy' writing as I normally do my Sci-Fi stuff. Enjoy!

"

Ding-a-ling

The chimes of a small convenient store rung as a young women stepped inside. The hood of her dirty old sweatshirt was pulled tightly around her head and large dark sunglasses hung on the tip of her nose as unwelcoming eyes conspired over top. She hardly lifted her feet from the ground as she slid them forward slowly making her way through the store to the medicine shelf. She reached out and began to fill her reusable shopping bag with handfuls of Nyquila nighttime cough and cold medicine.

“Can’t sleep again huh Susan?” The store clerk asked as he watched her emptying out his Nyquil stock.

“Fresh out of my meds is all.” Susan replied, every ounce of youth still perceptible in the sound of her voice. “Let’s hurry this up.” She said as she made her way to the counter.

“Well if I didn't know you better I would think you were planning to kill yourself with all this medicine.” He laughed, although the serious undertone was clearly detectable.

“Wouldn't that be a trick?” Susan whispered to herself as she reached over the counter. Quickly the store clerk reached over and grabbed the bag from her hands setting it down safely as he began to ring up the medicine bottles.

“Alright, $26.50 is the totallet me get your card out for you” the clerk said as he reached into the bottom of the grocery bag and pulled out Susan’s wallet. “I know how much it pains you fidgeting through this wallet.” Susan nodded in affirmation. “So nothing new from the doctors huh?”

“Nopenothing that can save me.” And with that statement the clerk allowed awkward silence to defeat awkward conversation. He finished checking her out and returned her wallet to her bag.

“Well, take care Susan. See you again soon I hope.”

Susan carefully grabbed the bag from the counter and exit the store. She walked east downhill half a block towards her apartment before walking out into the street. A yellow cab screeched to a halt as it skid towards Susan. Luckily the brakes seemed to catch some grip as the cab stopped on a dime just before knocking into her.

Honk-Honk-Honk!

Susan’s head exploded with pain as the sound shattered through her ear drums like shards of broken glass. She dropped her bag and reached up to cover her ears using her hands to stop the noise from directly reaching her ear drums.

The taxi kept his hand on the horn for one prolonged blast as he backed up and wildly drove around her crossing into the next lane. Just as the taxi moved into the lane a bicyclist who was coming the other way collided into him knocking the biker onto the hood of the taxi cab before sliding off onto the pavement.

With the horn no longer deafening Susan, she quickly grabbed her bags and continued home. The cab driver got out of his vehicle and was arguing with the bicyclist who was still on the ground clutching his knee. Susan’s head was ringing from the noise of the horn so she could not hear the mean words and accusations coming from the cab drivers mouth. All she could focus on was the heavy bag between her fingers pulling and ripping into the creases between her joints.

Susan continued onto the curb towards the alley forgetting about the mess behind her. She was solely focused on getting to her apartment, out of public and harm’s way. As Susan stepped into the alleythree boys who had just heard the commotionwere jogging towards her.

“Dude it’s totally her!” A tall boy with a black beanie and long slinky limbs said with a finger pointing to Susan.

“Oh my god, you are right.” Another boy confirmed.

“Mrs. Death herself, in the flesh of yet another accident.” The tall boy continued.

“Leave me aloneJonathan.” Susan replied without even looking at them.

“Why would I do that when you are so fun to pick on?” Jonathan rebutted. Susan’s whole body was throbbing. She was hardly a block away from the back entrance to the apartments. She did her best to ignore the punk boys in the alley and keep walking. “Guys want to see something funny?” Jonathan asked.

“Yeahdo it Johnnyshow us something funny!” instigated the boys.

Jonathan jumped forward planting himself right in Susan’s walking path. He reached out with his index finger extended and jabbed it hard into her shoulder. “Poke!” he taunted.

Susan screamed in pain but couldn't move her body. It was like the nerves in her body had frozen solid, unable to move, while the pain radiated like a shock wave through her body shattering the frozen nerves.

“Wow, what a baby? Stop over-reacting.” One of the boys yelled out.

“My Dad said she thinks she has some type of hypersensitivity disorder, but he thinks she is just retarded or something.” Jonathan informed the boys.

They began laughing historically as they watched Susan scream in place.

As the pain reached her hands the grocery bag slid from her fingers and smashed into the concrete below. Bottles of cold medicine rolled in every direction.

“Oh my god!” Jonathan began. “What? What is this? Are you like… cooking meth or something? Holy s**t guys look at this! She isn't retardedshe is a junkie!” he finished as he kicked one of the bottles at her, luckily missing its target. Jonathan reached into her bag and began searching through it. Susan was still paralyzed from the pain that was now pounding at the top of her skull as Jonathan’s voice continued to pierce her heart. “Oh what’s this?” he asked as he pulled out her wallet. “I think I will keep this since you tried to poison my cat.” He said, dropping the grocery bag to the floor but keeping the wallet. “Don’t ever leave food out for her again, understand me? I saw it on your patio, the cat food you left out. You don’t even have a cat!” He paused for only a moment to catch his breath. “My dad told me about all the dead cats and birds that were found on your patio"“

“"I didn't kill them.” Susan grunted, finally able to breathe as the pain subdued. “Put my wallet and medicine back before something terrible happens.”

Wow! Is that a threat? What is a weak junkie girl like you going to do to me? Huh? Going to give me some kind of curse or junkie disease or something.” Jonathan continued holding onto her wallet with his hands high in the air. “Admit it, you couldn't get this wallet from me if you tried you don’t have the strength, you can’t even be poked without crying.”

“I can’t curse you, and I can’t fight. HellI can hardly walk.” Susan began, breathing heavily between words as her voice strengthened with confidence. “Things die around me, and god has cursed me with a body that knows no end to painbut god gave me something else too…”

“What a broken brain?” Jonathan replied

“No, a protective brother.” Just as Susan had finished talking Jonathan’s body was slammed hard into the ground by an invisible force.  He collapsed so fast he skipped off the ground and into the side of a large dumpster. His body laid motionless as the echoes from the impact drained from the ally.

Susan ducked and covered her ears as the other men in the alley began to scream and cry tears of pain. A black shadow flowed like wind between them as cuts and blood became visible on their clothes and body. Sounds of growls, snarls and steel on steel could be heard from the shadow as it wisped around magically between the two men slowly devouring their clothes and skin. And then it was quiet.

The men were no longer screaming as their bodies stood motionless in time. The only movement was scraps of clothes falling from their bodies and blood dripping from their wounds. Simultaneously their bodies collapsed to the ground beneath their feet.

Susan looked to her side and noticed that her bag was now resting up against her with her wallet and groceries neatly packed inside. She smiled as she picked up her bag and began walking between the two motionless bodies on the concrete.

Jonathan began to stir by the dumpster as he regained consciousness. He looked around trying to recollect where he was. The pupils in his eyes grew large as he remembered what was happening moments ago. He quickly stood to his feet nervously shaking and barley able to balance. His eyes met Susan’s as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the alley. Then he looked to her left and right and saw the bodies of his friends laying in a pools of blood. His jaw dropped and tears filled his eyes. His body went into immediate shock and began shaking uncontrollably.

Behind Jonathan the black mystic shadow began to form and take shape quickly…

“Nomy brotherleave him.” Susan whispered as she walked past Jonathan and continued home to her apartment.

© 2014 AndyLazer


Author's Note

AndyLazer
Here is the Prompt for the story:

This weeks challenge:
Use a character named Susan!
yes I know,
What a boring name!
well here are some traits to help you out

She has a hypersensitivity disorder
-This means that she feels every touch with excruciating pain
-Even process and movements within her own body can be painful to her

She has an older bother that always protects her
-He is big and somewhat scary to other people
-He is all that she has

My Review

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Reviews

Watch out! Writer's Cafe has a glitch where if you copy past dashes magically transform into quotation marks.

Intriguing story. Feels like it should continue.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


AndyLazer

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I had not noticed. I updated ti and fixed this. I would love to come back and add.. read more
:) done. Would love your thoughts.
Enjoyed yours very much, a great message!


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


I read your story. Decided to take you on. :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on June 12, 2014
Last Updated on July 31, 2014
Tags: Short, fantasy, dark

Author

AndyLazer
AndyLazer

Seattle, WA



About
Just a 25 year old guy who has always wanted to be a writer but I don't spend enough time writing. Hoping to get some practice now. more..

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