THE WASTE COLLECTOR

An a*****e is not usually bad

                Witnessed by the willow tree during which it stood on the ground overlooking an old fort that was named the Telo Capital was ruled by an unknown king. The capital was said to be quite isolated and the classes of people were said to have funny names. The king itself was known as ‘The Brain’, his advising minister was ‘The Mouth’, the military minister was ‘The Eye’, the financial minister was the ‘The Heart’, the people working as laborers or farmers were ‘The Legs’, the army classes were ‘The Arms’ and the people that worked as artisans or traders were ‘The Blood’.

                Perhaps one might think the names were funny but for them the name of the classes meant something. A king, being a brain must be of someone wise to be able to make good decision for the sovereignty of the nation. An advisor being a mouth, is someone who speaks on behalf of the king, being able to advise what is good for the king to decide. The military minister being an eye should be observant. Observing carefully any strategy or prepare plan for defense and offense purposes. Whereas a financing minister was the heart due to their ability to plan for a nation’s budget and collection of income that determine the lives of a nation.

                The army classes were known as the arms as they worked as the hands that protect the nation from threats. The artisans or the traders were the blood because their jobs determine the continuation of higher income flows towards the nation and the laborers or farmers were the legs because they ran for the nation’s productivity. All but one who was the waste collector, a young poor boy who was orphaned at the age of seven was called ‘The A*****e’ as for his job was to collect the junks and feces to be dumped into the sewer. His job did not do any good for the nation but to keep the country clean. As for that he was always made fun of by the other classes of people.

                This boy with the name Kristoff lived near edge of the fort which was completely sealed by thick tall walls guarded by the sentries. At the edge of the fort, there was a trap door that the boy used to dump the wastes into it and beside the trap door, he built the hut as shelter. He condition was very inappropriate as the environment was not that comfortable. Kristoff was exceptional as he had to endure the stink every morning and night before people wake up and besides, living near the dumpsite for nearly fourteen years was quite some time.

                Sometimes people might call him weird because of his ability to craft the wasted items into something creative. He was somehow and innovative kind of person. When he saw something strange, he would use the dumps to make similar to it. He was then always ignored whenever he walked to the heart of the capital. People might whisper ‘The a*****e is coming’ yet he did not listen to them. He knew one day the a*****e might be a great help to the city. Quite a wise person he was because people always had that perception that someone who thinks differently are usually dumb.

                The capital had one major threat. The king’s enemy was the villainous brother living in nearby capital, Zlo. His brother had always wanted to invade Telo because it was built at the coast with the flourished port that was always visited by traders from other countries. One day his brother planned an assault on Telo and because the king was too old, he could not make quick decision. The king held a meeting with everyone in the capital to put up suggestion. Kristoff thought he could make a good one though and thus he also attended.

                The ministers spoke of their strategy and the king listened attentively however none of their suggestions were at the satisfaction level. The people began to worry and whispered among themselves. Suddenly, Kristoff raised his hand. ‘We could use feces as our great offense and defense!’ The crowd silenced themselves. All staring at him and suddenly broke into laughter. The military minister laughed at him too. ‘An a*****e making an a*****e statement! How funny?’ Kristoff began to feel challenged. He silenced himself, turned around and left the meeting. After he left, the meeting continued.

                A week, two weeks, three weeks. Finally the king’s brother arrived with hundreds of army men. All seemed ready to meet their opponent, the armies of Telo. The king’s brother were large in arms and thus the military minister was dumbstruck. At any time they would be completely outnumbered. The king’s brother called for the horn to be blown and when the horn signal was made, the armies charged forward.

                The people within the fort witnessed the worst clash ever. In just a meantime, the opposite side had completely pushed the armies back into the fort. They began to surround the fort sealing the entrance and back door to prevent anyone to leave. The evil king began to set fire to the houses, burning the interior and the situation turned chaos. The defenders were the only left to defend the advancing enemies. Now it was only back to the military minister to decide what to do. ‘We have only one way out, the sewage.’ The king thought it was right for them to exit the capital too.

                Kristoff saw the smoke thickened up but he treated as nothing was happening. Suddenly the people marched in hundreds came his way. The king was brought to the front to negotiate with Kristoff. ‘Boy, I need your help this time. The defenders are holding back the enemies so we still have plenty of time to escape through the sewer.’ Kristoff continued raking the waste as if he never heard of anything. The military minister drew out his sword and approached him. ‘Did you not hear what the king had spoken?’ Kristoff turned to him smilingly. ‘What? I am an a*****e and I did not understand.’

                Everyone began to silenced, realizing their mistakes to belittle this man. ‘Now an a*****e who made an a*****e statement was begged for freedom? What kind of a*****e statement was that?’ Hearing the sarcasm, the military minister knelt down. ‘Please Kristoff, I realize my mistake to belittle you.’ Kristoff chose to ignore and continued his chore. Soon everyone knelt down too. ‘Please Kristoff, lead us the way out from the trap door.’ Kristoff threw the rake. Looking at everyone, he laughed. ‘Now the brain, the eye, the mouth and whoever you are, the greatest people in the nation, kneel down and beg for an a*****e like me? The world is changing isn’t it?’

                The king himself came forward to him. ‘At least think for the sake of the people, son. I rather forget my status now on behalf of them.’ Hearing that Kristoff smiled. ‘Very well, king.’ He opened the trap door. The unbearable stink from the inside was emitted. Everyone became disgusted. ‘In you go.’ Kristoff instructed while standing calmly with the opened door. The crowd began to whisper among themselves with harsh decision whether to go through that sewer. Kristoff became impatient. ‘Look useless! The main doors were sealed by the enemies. Either you choose to drop your high up nose reputation and survive being stink as your waste or just wasted up deciding for the best option. If you choose to get to the sewer and come out from the other end, you still survive but if you choose to think in this tense moment, good luck and get burned!’

                Hearing that, everyone began to rush into the sewer. Determined that nobody was lingering within the walls, Kristoff began to smear the surface with feces and he too got into the sewer and closed the trap door. He slid down to the tunnel and led the panicked civilians out. Coming out from the other end was the river that led to the coast where they can clean themselves up.

                ‘I had done my job. You may choose to go directly to the coast where you can meet up some sea traders to bring you to safety.’ The king patted him. ‘Thank you, Kristoff. We realized how regret we were to disregard you in our capital. We would not call you a*****e again.’ Kristoff crossed his arms and laughed. ‘I maybe an a*****e yes. I don’t deny. Because everyone’s does have an a*****e. I did my job as an a*****e to purge you wasted people out of the burning capital. What happened if I refuse to do the favor for you? Your lives might be a waste (turned into s**t), kept in the burned capital (diseased body). So do you realize now, how important an a*****e is to a country?’

Author's Note

Enjoy :)