Spider Legs

I imagine you'll be wearing a white

crew-neck sweater, curved at the

nape, bare, and you'll have spaces

between the skin on your lower

wrists where there once had been

wounds, but I won't ask you where

they came from when I hesitantly

curve your fingers with mine

After dinner you'll take me to your

favorite hideaway behind the Ten

Mile River where you'd say you like

to sit and shrink from the world like

spider legs after they die, and I'll

listen to you talk quietly about the

meaningless of life as you skip rocks

into the river making wrinkles in the

water beneath our feet

At night you'll lead me back to your

condo and we'll share a bottle of

Cabernet and you'll be four glasses

in before I tell you to slow it down,

but you won't, and by midnight we

are on our backs, fully-clothed, and

I'll reach over and graze the skin on

your arm but you'll shrink back in

timidity like a Mimosa that folds

inward when you touch it.

Reviews

[Antoñyo]

Wow...um...wow...having a tough time "making words" here. I don't know, guess I see with different eyes.
The thing is, I know talent when I read it (at least, I like to think I do) and yours goes beyond "how nice this piece is"
Love this piece...love your writing insight even more. If there's not a novel in your future, there should be.
Thanks for sharing, and I'll definitely be back for more!

[Ali Guerra]

oh wow, that means a lot to me. thank you. i wish i could write a novel. i am bad at finishing things though. thanks - it means a lot :]

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Great write – you have certainly captured the essence of trying to break and bind another’s demons through the power of love and understanding.

Excellent use of word play which keeps the reader’s attention throughout – well done!

Bless

[Ali Guerra]

i appreciate it! :]

[Clockwork]

I love the simile you end the poem with. Not only does it provide me with a very strong image, it makes a good comparison. It also suggests that his wound have not healed and that he can not accept love. So I think that is a very emotionally complex thought in very simple and eloquent language. I also really liked the image of skipping rocks and the ripples touching their feet. Also, you give us a really nice description of who he is, what he wears, the real nuts and bolts of his personality. I like this a lot, Ali.

[Ali Guerra]

his wounds never did heal. thank you very much for reading :]]

[Clockwork]

I'm sorry to hear that.

You're welcome!

[twain]

There's so much in this, makes me really wonder what he suffered before this. I love it :D

[Ali Guerra]

i'm glad :]

[An owl on the moon]

In the softest brush strokes you create a sweet, somber mood that transcends the moments shared... I love the feeling this creates in the shadows of life... the sorrows that breathe over us and take us deeper within our own hidden places. Your descriptions are intricate: "your arm but you'll shrink back in timidity like a Mimosa that folds inward when you touch it..."

[Ali Guerra]

you're great, craig, thank you :]

[K. Louis]

you had some fresh images in here. Enjoyed this..

[Ali Guerra]

i'm glad you enjoyed, thank you :]