10. EavesdroppedA Chapter by alison13
MY SCEDULE GOT REALLY HECTIC FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS. M-W-F for rehearsals, then if we already got it, we’ll shoot the scenes, Tuesday and Thursday will either be composing day for the some songs in the OST of the movie"they let me compose some and sing it with the band", or I’ll be with my band having a show, interview, or album signing session, it’s just vice versa. By Saturday, I’ll be spending some time with my relatives or Adam. And Sunday is my rest day, shopping or going to spa with Kyla.
At least there are some advantages of being a workaholic. I don’t really get tired. I even get restless when I’m not doing anything. Adam and I argued less often, though we can’t have two weeks without arguing, followed by laughing.
But what’s bothering me is his over-protectiveness"as always. There are a few times when he tried picking me up, and when I tried to ignore him, it always ends up on him coming with us. Then he’ll look at Jake as if he’s truly disgusted and Jacob will do the same, it’s just vice versa on who does it first.
I know that it’s stupid, but sometimes, I feel as if we’re not on a real relationship, as if he’s only a close friend of mine. There are a few instances that I even thought of breaking up with him, but every time I tried to do that, it’s like there’s something pulling me back, begging me to stop and listen to what my heart says. And every time I look at Adam, all the troubles that is confusing me instantly disappear and I even forgot what I was planning. I haven’t asked anyone about it, though I’m planning on opening it to Shane. After all, he is my best friend and his brother.
I decided to drive to their house, since its Tuesday, and we don’t have any activities for the band and since we’re almost finish recording the songs for the OST and the last one will be recorded next week.
My heart thudded faster, though I’m sure that Adam’s not home. First, he’s on his charity today and will be back on five pm, and just to be sure, I checked to see that his Mercedes is nowhere to be seen.
I approached Shane who’s swimming alone. “Hey,” I said, wrapping my arms around me. I wonder how Shane can swim in this kind of weather.
“Hey, so, what are you doing here?” he asked.
“Um, can we talk privately?”
“We’re the only one here... they’re all gone,”
“Just to be sure,”
“Fine, I’ll just change, then we’ll talk in my room.”
He climbed out of the pool and went to their changing room. It took him only a minute or two to change.
“You’re getting faster on changing,”
“Thanks, c’mon,” he led me up to his room. “So, what do you want to talk about that needs to be private?” he asked, though he seems to have a sense about it already.
“Well, you see...” I sat on the foot of his bed.
“It’s about Adam,” he finished for me.
“It’s quite obvious, though I still like to ask,” he said, pulling the other bean bag chair beside me.
“Right,” I sighed, sitting instead on the black bean bag chair, “You see, he’s really becoming annoying, and I’m getting sick of it... not the teasing, since we always do that, and that sometimes make my day, but his over-protectiveness and jealousy. I mean, he’s jealous of Jake, I mean, the guy has a girlfriend for crying out loud and he’s really faithful to her.”
“And let me guess the rest. You want to breakup with him?”
“That’s my problem, every time I try to do that, or even talk to him about it, it’s like there’s this some kind of force field that keeps stopping me, pulling me back, and saying that I can’t do what I’m thinking because he’s a huge part of my life, like my half. And as if I can’t live without him. I know that not all of my memory had come back yet, but, even if I’m only spending time with him on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, but it’s like my heart keeps screaming that I love him so much, and I can’t be me without him.” I breathed then flickered to Shane to see his reaction, which is unchanged. “Yes, I once tried to live without him, but to those two years, I just can’t. I’m already connected to him, and I guess that you just found that out today,” I laughed humourlessly.
“You’re in love with him,” he cleared up.
“You want to breakup with him,”
“Yes,” I pressed my lips together, “Remember one time in the tour bus, when I pretended to sleep? Well, I can’t really sleep that time, and I overhear you guys talking and he said that he’s getting of my attitude too, that I always choose to be with my other friends than him. But, why does he always want me to be with him anyway? Back in my memory, I remembered him telling me that he wants a girl who can understand that he can’t always be around. But why can’t he understand that I can’t always be around?”
“Adam!” Shane shouted.
My body felt cold all over. He shouldn’t have heard anything. I thought. I stood up and followed him. “Adam, wait!” I tried to follow him as fast as I can. I almost even fell down the stairs. “Wait up!”
“What?” he asked.
“What you heard is"” I tried to explain but he cut me off quickly.
“The real thing.” He said firmly.
“What part did you hear?”
“All that I needed to know,”
“What part did you hear?” I repeated. I don’t care how furious he is, I still have the right to explain.
“The one where Shane said that you want to breakup with me and you agreed and you even gave an example.”
“You want to end this senseless relationship then why don’t you just say it straight to my face? And not telling other people about it and making me look like a fool for loving you more than my life!” he said, now shouting.
“Wait,” my tears almost fell, but I stopped it.
“What else do you want? We’re over. Or maybe you want to be the one who’ll always end it up. Then fine. Tell it to my face that we’re over. You know what? You’re right. I am sick and tired of your attitude. I am sick and tired of everything about you. You’re not the same Alyson as before, and that’s not the way I loved you.” He said then got in to his car.
“Fine.” My voice broke off. I’m not sure if he heard me. Tears ran down my face, and this time, I have no control of it.
The rain started to fall like heavy sheets above me. I stared at him as he drove away. My tears flowed down faster, unison with the heavy rain.
“Alyson,” I heard Shane called my name.
“He didn’t even listen to me,” my voice sounded harsher than ever. I’m not sure if he understands what I said, but I know he can feel my pain.
“I’m so sorry,” he embraced me tightly.
“He didn’t even hear the whole conversation.” I sobbed. “He just eavesdropped and this is what happens,” I hugged him tighter, not feeling anything but the pain inside me.
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated.
It took me a long moment before I could speak again. “I’m sorry, I’m soaking you in the rain,” I looked at him when I composed myself together again.
“Its fine,” he chuckled.
“You’re really a great friend, I’m such a lucky girl for having someone to still stick to my side even on what happened, and even though I know I was wrong.” I pressed my lips together, “I think I need to go. I just want to be alone for now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I let go of him as the rain stop.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“I’m not sure. But I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.” I tried to smile without enthusiasm.
“Maybe you should change first, you’re all wet,”
I borrowed a yellow cardigan, white tank top and black jeans from Ashley’s closet. Shane insisted on driving me home but I said that I needed some time to be alone and to think. He’s not that hard to convince, he quickly agreed with me and smiled as I drive away.
I have no plans on going home yet, probably not until I’m fine. I drove to a place that’s familiar to me, a place that has always been so peaceful, where I can always think things through.
I sat on the grass as I stared at the sunset. I hugged my knees close to my chest tightly. Now I remembered why this place is so important. This is where we always go. It is where we always tried to catch the sunset, though we never did, and will never do.
I closed my eyes as I feel the soft touch of the wind caressing my skin. The soft breezes of the flowers roaming around that always kept me relax. There’s a new touch of scent that added, a touch of red tulips.
I opened my eyes and notice that it’s already dark. A dark gloomy night without a single star in sight except for the silver moon shining brightly; yet the cold breeze of the soft wind is still around. I wonder, how long have I been staying in this wonderful place?
I’m alone; its serenity doesn’t really bother me. It soothes me more. Calming my mood, and taking away all the stress that I’ve been through. It’s all that I want. All that I needed; a simple place to get away from everyone else.
I took my phone from my bag to see what time it is, and all of a sudden, my distress was back. There’s a message that Adam sent me that’s saying that he’ll be home earlier. If I read that message earlier, I might not be here. We might still be together and I might still be happy with my life.
But if did read his message, I might still not be happy since my mind wouldn’t be settled and it will just confuse me more. I guess everything just happens for a purpose. I sigh, closed my eyes, and then suddenly threw my phone in the dark tinted ocean.
“You know; if you want to move on that fast, you could’ve given me your phone instead and buy a new one. Did you know that that phone was just a limited edition?” Shane said, sitting beside me. “I’m sorry; I can’t just sit back at home thinking what could’ve happen to you.”
“How did you know I’m here?”
“Just a lucky guess and, I wanted to relax. So, why did you throw your phone?”
I sighed. “That phone reminds me of everything about him.” I took a rock and throw it on the ocean.
“Um, you want me to talk to him?”
“No,” I took a deep breath, “He already gave me a reason to end our relationship,”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me that... he’s sick and tired of everything about me,” I paused for a second.
“But its fine, I mean, I guess he’s just not the right one for me, but I know that the right guy for me is just around.” I stared at the full silver moon.
I lay my head down to his shoulder. Maybe he is not the right guy for me. I thought.
“Stop crying,” he wiped the tear that I didn’t notice to fall.
“Why are you so nice to me?” I asked, barely a whisper.
“You already know that, right?”
“I already hurt you, right?” I looked at him.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re not my best friend anymore. Friendship is different from love. It is more important.” I examined him if he’s telling the truth, and no doubt, he is.
“Thanks,” I murmured, throwing my arms around his waist. I’m right. I am lucky to have Shane to be always there. Too lucky, to even deserve it.
“What did I do for you?” he brushed my hair off my face and placed it under my ear.
“Like what? I don’t really remember much,”
“You’re always there, to cheer me up, and when I needed a friend the most,”
“That’s nothing for you, but it meant a lot for me,” I sighed, “Maybe I really did make a wrong choice,” I murmured more to myself than for him to hear.
I closed my eyes again. We were silent for a moment, just enjoying the seascape and listening to crickets singing. I don’t really need anything right now, everything I wanted is right here.
I opened my eyes again, then took a glimpse on Shane’s watch. I took my arms off him, “I need to go now. I need to read the script again,” I stood up.
“Okay, I’ll just stay here for a while.” He smiled.
“Bye,” I said then went in to my car.
© 2009 alison13
Added on December 24, 2009
Last Updated on December 27, 2009
The way I loved you
Aboutmy name is elaine and i'm a fourteen years old girl... i'm gonna make my description short. i only have three addictions for the moment. MUSIC, BOOKS and PHOTOGRAPHY. MUSIC had been and always will.. more..