Never Enough

We fall alone

Graceful and majestic

Like the waves against the shore

Broken and tired

Yet able to hide the shame

And pain that we have endured.

Why am I lied to

How can I know the truth 

When my truths 

Are not right

In this world.

Who are you to say what is right

Are the God people in church praise

Are the devil himself 

Or just another human being 

Destroying the little sanity I have

I’m not suicidal

I’m not a  threat to anyone

Yet my thoughts would make me seem like I am

I come off strange

But I know my truths are my own

I know I have to keep hidden from the world

And pretend to believe

In the end we stand alone

Our only defense being our thoughts

I feel nothing and the numbness is refreshing

I feel to much 

Or to little

Never just enough

Laying awake at 3 in the morning 

This is when I am at peace

No one there

Silent

Destroyed by the alarm clock going off at 5

It works like clock work 

Everyday the same routine

My mind is numb

And it is all slowly changing me

Questions remain unanswered 

And doors still remain closed.

This is all me

Or at least what I believe