What will I be when I grow up?

When I grow up dad

I want to be in a field

with other spring onions

swaying in the breeze

of pastures green.

Won't happen son!

You're gonna end up

like me soon

picked out for a salad.

Bye Dad!

Bye son!

What am I gonna be when I grow up? said baby carrot.

You're going to be pulled by the hair son

then peeled, diced, steamed

and served up with other vegetables.

Or you could be cut into quarters 

and served with salad.

That's terrible Dad!

I know son, Blame it on the vegans!

When I grow up I'm going to be a gourmet cabbage!

No you won't son.

You're gonna be fed to the goats.

No one likes cabbage.

Mum, what will I be

when I grow up? said the little lamb.

Sorry dear, you're going to be

slaughtered, placed on a lovely tray

in a butcher's shop,

and advertised as lamb loin chops

to be bought and dished up.

Will I be popular Mum?

Yes! You'll will be star of the meal.

What's going to happen to me Dad

when I grow up?

We will be eaten son!

We are the chosen ones,

part of the food chain!

Love you Dad!

Love you too son!

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

perspectives of veggies ..kind of different when the shoes on the other foot ... and i like cabbage ... would you please tell them for me that i like cabbage ... tho it may not give hope for something better that "eaten" ... maybe they will feel a little better ;}
E.

[andrew mitchell]

Many belated thank yous Gene

[Robert Trakofler]

Ha good one... Andrew, I own a vegan restaurant:) I am not a vegan I do eat some animal products so I i'm not casting stones here I will say we all need to change our ways and look at what we eat and how we eat whats in it and where it comes from. If we only could get a vegetable that could eat humans we would be rid of the whole problem of over population and mass food production and all of the greed, pollution and ruining of the earth that comes with it. Just not enough people predators out there anymore:) as usual you made me laugh at your lines but inside the lines hides a serious note

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you BB for your delightful review!:)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Did you not know we are all to become vegans in order to save the planet! As you often do, you made me laugh with this off beat tale of the darker side of culinary culture.

[andrew mitchell]

Lol thanks John. The problem with becoming all vegans is we are eating the animal’s only food source!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i just love this...damn Vegans.....children should be able to grow up knowing their fathers for a longer time than this...
i see allegory all through this...
the son being told that he won't get a chance to succeed because others might prevent him from doing so.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Although I am smiling I think you may have given your son (if indeed you have written about your son) a bunch load of nightmares :) Original and very entertaining Andrew.

Chris

[andrew mitchell]

Haha, no it’s just a personification of vegetables and animals from their side of things. Son is just that generalised term given from father to son in the old days. Thanks Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

I like what you did and no kids were harmed as a result of it :))