Victims of the time

Victims of the time

A Poem by Amanda Moubarak
"

Life passes by so fast. It's a fact but yet it's hard to believe. We think we have all the time in the world until one day we find ourselves running out of time.

"
We used to be best friends
Now we barely speak
Said we won't let our love end
Now we never even meet
We never say anything, thinking it's all just fine
We never take the blame, always blaming the time

Waiting for the right moment
To tell someone how we feel
Take everyone for granted
Thinking tomorrow will make it heal
We keep couting the hours
To reach our dreams one day
But the time is not ours
And the dreams are fading away

Broken hearts, knives in backs
The moment that goes by can never be brought back
Life is the scene of a crime
Where we are the victims of the time.

© 2017 Amanda Moubarak


Author's Note

Amanda Moubarak
Take the opportunity to do whatever you want to do NOW cause later will soon be too late.

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Featured Review

Your "What if" poem led me to read this poem. And I enjoyed reading it. I can relate to relationships at the so-called wrong time. With age, I've come to realize that those unrealized relationships were just not meant to be part of my journey.

If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to reach inside for more specific images from your personal life rather than using what I call more generic images. An example of what I mean is T. S. Eliot's use of "measuring my life out in coffee spoons" to measure the passing of time.

You definitely have a gift for expressing your inner self. Don't stop!

PS: plural of knife is knives.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amanda Moubarak

6 Years Ago

I'm really glad you enjoyed my poems. And yet again thank you for your advice, i'll take them in con.. read more



Reviews

Your "What if" poem led me to read this poem. And I enjoyed reading it. I can relate to relationships at the so-called wrong time. With age, I've come to realize that those unrealized relationships were just not meant to be part of my journey.

If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to reach inside for more specific images from your personal life rather than using what I call more generic images. An example of what I mean is T. S. Eliot's use of "measuring my life out in coffee spoons" to measure the passing of time.

You definitely have a gift for expressing your inner self. Don't stop!

PS: plural of knife is knives.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amanda Moubarak

6 Years Ago

I'm really glad you enjoyed my poems. And yet again thank you for your advice, i'll take them in con.. read more
Overall excellent idea & framework. Slight adjustment to meter might make a big difference. Eg. "always blaming the time" (stumbles on the tongue) replaced with simply "blaming all the time". And perhaps "And the dreams are fading 'way", a slightly better scan. I'd love to see the last stanza reworked to have your great boom, boom "Life is the scene of the crime" being the last line. I hope I don't offend. Gan🐳

Posted 6 Years Ago


Amanda Moubarak

6 Years Ago

You didn't offend. Thank youu for your constructive criticism. It's always helpful :)
Gan Do

6 Years Ago

I just posted another that may give a chuckle. 🐳
Amanda Moubarak

6 Years Ago

Oh great i'll check it out :)

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2 Reviews
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Added on October 3, 2017
Last Updated on November 16, 2017
Tags: #poetry, #writings, #time, #poet, #poems

Author

Amanda Moubarak
Amanda Moubarak

Bekaatet kenaan, Keserwen, Lebanon



About
When I can't speak, I write :) I wrote an ebook (poems and writings) : Writings of a broken soul. I wrote rap songs alone and with a group (the mob production). Facebook Page : Writings and Poetry .. more..

Writing