The Rain

Its a thriller. not much to say :)

In the deep corner of the house lies the room of the 16 year old Garry Ibrahanovic. With walls of grey and some classic portraits, his room was a paradise of filth and eeriness. The wooden table harbored an entire array of irksome and odd stuff. It was nearly impossible to spot an exploitable object of desire in such a good mess. Amidst the Vatican reined the wailing old bed. Upon which relentlessly lay Garry, unconscious of time and the gruesome grime surrounding him. It was not his fault. The previous night had been passed in tiresome revision of academic books. A sound sleep was more of a necessity.

 

At last 11:00 .a.m. witnessed the rising of the prince. But wait something very usually unusual happened! He was late again! The mother cried “Wake up Garry! You will be late for your piano classes!” “Your sir would be livid.” declared his father with the heavy voice. Once again, in the most recent past (which happened to be yesterday!) he was unable to accompany time. It was so cruel! Hopping and tying his shoe Gary ran for his bicycle. His mother was worried. She warned “Take your glasses with you!” but all in vain.

 

Peddling swiftly on his new bicycle Garry entered the pre war area. Half way down his route, an object appeared to be missing! He was without his precious glasses. The absence of this little seeing aid could not trouble him! He was a strong boy. Yet again the luck played his part! His bicycle tire got punctured! On top of that, another bad news arrived. He was now being bombarded with the universal solvent. Few times have been there when Garry became ferocious, but this became the topmost on the list.

After some scrutiny, he managed to get the shade of a giant tree.

 

Under heavy rain and breeze, he saw a figure! It looked like that of a post office box! No it was of a man under an umbrella! He would be saved! The man looked to be in an army uniform with a rusty red umbrella. “What are you doing here in this strong rain boy?” asked the stranger. After Garry described the tragic death of his bicycle, he asked for some shade. Few minutes later, he asked Garry’s name. After getting his answer the questioner was himself asked the same question. “You wouldn’t want to know it. Few people like my name.” Hearing the weird reply Garry thought not to go further in that matter. “So you were in the army??” “Yes! I fought out at front” said the stranger enthusiastically. Garry felt proud at the reply. He was a true German patriot. Perhaps the reason was her mother’s inspiring stories of the War. All the War legends and heroics tales melted deep into his conscience and oozed out pure patriotism and nationalism.

 

Some miles later they came to an old bunker. The roof was extremely porous, bricks had lost their color long ago, and it had a small red gate ready to be called off. Concerning for his safety, he asked for a light. “I know this area quite well come on, you will be safe here” assured the stranger. Slowly crawling to the inner section, they managed to get to a safe and constant position. “Are you scared of me? If you are then don’t be because the rain will be there for pretty long.” Right at that moment he proved himself to be an inclusive liar. The sky went blue and the clouds disappeared. Garry instinctively took to the world leaving that dark and dull company.

 

Although we humans have been evolving for centuries but some peculiar traits are still in their primitive stage

Frequently it happens that at first look we miss some clear details and they get stored in our subconscious. At length when it dawns on us we notice, regret or sometimes like in this case thank the defect.

 

While walking on the road something struck him! He recalled the question for his name. Now the answer was lucid. Two evidences stood strong for the deduction.

 

A short moustache and a swastika sign on his arm.

 

                           ------ Amar Laksh

Reviews

[Pragya Saxena]

So yet again when the story started what happened in the last line could not even be imagined...
Well C'est la Vie..
First Impression is not always the perfect impression! ;)

[critic h]

well well the storyline is good

the plot does its part

great effort is made to specify the minutest detail
bt i dont think its a thriller
the story is almost flat until the last line

and the story lacks the description how he got the moustache
he could have got the sign when he must have touched bt how moustache?????

[Ohhhwillow]

Great twists, nailed it with the last line I have to say! Some great use of alternative words, such as lucid, nice to see someone on this side appreciate language and use it well! Good job. :)

[amarlaksh]

Thank you again :)

[Ambereen]

well written ... loved the twist

[Writer *78*]

Impressive read enjoyed this very much

[DrD]

Interesting twist and an interesting read.

[amarlaksh]

Thank you Doc. for having a look at it :)

[Lover Of Words]

Amazing

[Stanley Wilson]

good story interesting twist you could go in so many different directions with this thanks for sharing.

[de_maruf]

beautiful

[David Scott]

Details... How they matter...
A fine chapter.