Through....

Its my first love poem, quite short :)

Through the yard, in autumn quiet  

Hand in hand, and love in sight,

Among crisp leaves, with tepid hearts

Soul shared in two parts

Parch lips, for another pair

Thirst deep, and minds bare…

                                                    --- Amar laksh

Reviews

[Pragya Saxena]

It arises all the lost Feelings .. :)
Touchy ..

[critic h]

the poem is gud brilliantly written
but
bt
wo feeling nahi aayi
seems it lacks an ending
a feeling of incompletion is comes

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Powerful write. Enjoyed.
~pat

[krish]

nice fella.......

[amarlaksh]

Thanks buddy :)

[krish]

ahh......don't mention it.........
have a lovely day fella..........

[Elise Pehrson]

This is very eloquent and flows beautifully!

[amarlaksh]

thanks Elise!

[s y e]

Very nicely written.

[amarlaksh]

Thanks NOODLES ! :)

[s y e]

Welcome.

[under-the-water]

Parch lips, for another pair
Thirst deep, and minds bare…

those are the two strongest rhyming lines i think ive ever read.

[amarlaksh]

Thanks UTW :P

[Writer *78*]

Nice work for your first poem.

[Ohhhwillow]

Love the use of the words 'tepid' and 'parch', flows perfectly, very delicately put. Sometimes love is as simple as that, I think the length is fitting to the honesty of true compassion. :)

[amarlaksh]

Thanks Willow :)