Snap

Oh just read it already

There are times when something breaks inside a relationship and it creates an audible snap...

The day her ex grabbed the steering wheel on the freeway, both kids in the car, when his spitting and yelling and swearing didn't work ...

The day she found her daughter's wet bathing suit in the bathroom when she hadn't been swimming ...

Instead this time she wasn't sure what that snap meant.
It was the end of one thing...
But was it the end of everything ...

Time to find out if their tenuous grasp on happiness was made of something that rebounds, or falls apart ....



Fine needle aspirate
Thoracic cavity
Diagnostic gravity
To be determined
Whether the tip
Will reach
My heart.


...
Afraid to
Admit
Who you
Are
To me
But
More
Than that
Who
I want
You
To be
...



Dare she
Wish
Or ask
Or hope
The
Enemy
Of
Clarity
And rational
Thought
Trade
A lifetime
With him
For his
Life
In a
heartbeat
If she
could

Author's Note

Abrupt changes in tempo and flips from third to first person and third are jarring. And intentional. Subject matter is jarring to the speaker, and so ...

Reviews

[Neville]

Certainly made me think ya did... Now I gotta snap out of it..... very nicely writ if I might say so.... Neville

[MomzillaNC]

Each word is like a hammer beating out a rhythm, a heartbeat in distress.

[Lyn Anderson]

Very much so. Thank you. You are a writer whose work I enjoy and whose reviews are thoughtful

[MomzillaNC]

You’re welcome. And, thank you too.

[redzone]

Lyn, this is wonderfully written and deeply moving... I think this 'snap' is both heard and felt often... changes are often also hard and hard to deal with... but when a snap happens, never give in to what you know deep down is not right, even though this change may be the hardest of all.... whatever the path taken, it will have consequences, change is like that...


I too enjoyed how you formatted this poem Lyn, it does make it like the shape knife driven through the heart when a snap is heard and felt...

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it

[Lyn Anderson]

It is lovely to receive thoughtful reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i like the prose like beginning...it sets the stage firmly ..and i like how it trails off into one word punches to the mind and gut .. your closing surprised me as i was sure as i read that it would definitely be a sad end to him, her or everyone even... but your protagonist curls back up in that defensive ball still the victim ..so so sad and tragic..had to read again ;) i read that Emily Dickinson liked the hyme form of poetry writing but destructed it as she progressed towards her conclusions and so is listed as quite the Modernist ..this reminds me of that in form ..i din't find it rough to follw at all...but i gravitate to free form verse more than any other style ... well done says i!
E.
ps. reading the title i thought it was going to be about that "snap" page that kicks one out of the net and says oh snap .. or something of that nature ;) love and peace Lyn!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for your very thorough review. Too kind. Personal meanderings sometimes are ... well, not what you think at first

[emmajoy]

Abrupt changes in tempo most definitely, as if the words were written between sobs and gasps, the opening and closing of eyes as if wanting it all to go away.

The car episode could be likened to a wild runaway horse, out of control - too easy to imagine, too hard to understand. A tragedy in the making, made.

This is case history sans diagnosis perhaps. Or, maybe, is the writer's own second opinion, coming to terms, bewildered, benumbed at a final outpouring of please let love live.

A terrifyingly tragic piece of writing - and brilliant.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for the lovely thoughtful and insightful review.

[Lyn Anderson]

As a p.s. I attempted to review two of yours. Have you disabled the review feature because I seem unable to review?

[emmajoy]

I'll check my RRs area, Lyn. I've been in and out of the Cafe recently. I don't expect immediate reviews but grateful when/if they come. :)