Lifeless

Lifeless

A Poem by Imperfection
"

Nothing much. Trying to rhyme the words floating in my head.

"

 

 

 

 

Pictures of us

Still smiling in my head

Do they not know

That their future is dead

 

Disowned by love

I fade into the dark

My life watches in silence

It has lost its spark

 

Words and emotions

Are all that remain

They soak page after another

To keep me from going insane

 

Pain and sorrow

Reflected in my poetry

I wonder what is ahead

What will be, finally…

 


© 2009 Imperfection



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Author's Note

Imperfection
What will be, finally

Still wondering

:-|

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Featured Review

It's compact and concise, which is good. You deal with some primal symbols, like darkness, silence, sorrow, angst...but maybe you can make the poem more implicit and not explicit? For instance, the first stanza is probably the strongest because you use specific imagery in order to convey the implied feeling - more pathos that way.

The last stanza is the opposite, which is why I think it needs to be reworked - maybe return to the picture/silence/darkness motif?

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i like this poem very much....... something that I can relate to........ hope you can review some of my work if you would like........

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Tas
Good Write, thanks for entering.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your words are saying a whole lot. the entire first stanza drew me right in. This line is my favorite and so brilliant really...

Do they not know
That their future is dead

A very absorbing write but beautiful and heartfelt!


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I see things a little different. When a writer feel disconnected, or lost...it will reflect in their writing, which makes it real. I liked it. I could tell it was from the heart of someone suffering. Rain..

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hey... this was a nice poem dear....very nice... :) i liked the flow.... nice choice of words though...

Regards,
Poetic Soul

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

once a fella told me,"time never goes waste, even time wasted is not a waste of a time".
so what will finally be will be something very constructive and worth the pain n watch!!!

ur poem captures the very essence that underlies the human emotions..kudos

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's compact and concise, which is good. You deal with some primal symbols, like darkness, silence, sorrow, angst...but maybe you can make the poem more implicit and not explicit? For instance, the first stanza is probably the strongest because you use specific imagery in order to convey the implied feeling - more pathos that way.

The last stanza is the opposite, which is why I think it needs to be reworked - maybe return to the picture/silence/darkness motif?

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! This is greatAnd let me tell you, it is not just "nothing much" because it doesn't seems like random at allYour words are saying a lot and conveying such a powerful message!
A poet first writes from his heart and then from his hands.If there's only pain and sorrow present in the heart then how can anyone write about happiness? The same happens with me
The last line left me numb though! I have no answer for it


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this poem is dark & beautiful. the flow is smooth. i especially like "words and emotions are all that remain they soak page after another to keep me from going insane" there are many who feel that way. very good work.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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9 Reviews
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Added on September 10, 2008
Last Updated on January 1, 2009

Author

Imperfection
Imperfection

India



About
Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a piece of blank paper until your forehead bleeds - Douglas Adams. I am a woman in my 20's. I love writing...sometimes it doesn't make sense to the reader .. more..

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