Andy, Me

About a kid I didn't know that well but went to elementary school with. We ended up working the same job although he quit just before I started. I moved, and then found out he hung himself.

His specter hangs above my head

His shoelaces barely touch my face

I knew him once, 

Once long ago. 

Who he is now 

I do not know. 

I try to sleep but stay awake

and scream at him to "go away"

Author's Note

I just gave it all away with the back story didn't I....

Reviews

[William Maisonave]

I like this as well

[Alex Zynder]

truly chilling.

[GamingGal]

When it starts, it seems as if there should be some before it, as if it picked up in the middle. And in the end, I don't feel as if it's been concluded, as if you could write more on it.

However, I like the poem itself. I especially like the last two lines.

[An owl on the moon]

Both your poem and your note made me stop.. just breathe.. just sense what life is all about.. Andy.. not just a name.. someone who had promise.. and it's gone now... How I hope we can save others who might stand on that horrid brink... I was there once myself.

[Adam :P]

powerful, where is the rest of the poem! haha, doesn't seem finished,
but good poem!

[Nobody.]

powerful. kind of had flashbacks of the movie Chumscrubber.....he keeps seeing his friend hanging there and talking to him like normal...scary.

well written...interesting

good stuff.

[roarke]

obviously there's more, the poem does seem to open in the middle, so..... write some more on it. Start with adding your back story in front of this section. Is there more? Put it down, see what it looks like, sounds like, feels like. The mind, the emotions, the stories, that's what you're touching. You can do it, go ahead.

[Stammers]

Wow, awesome. This is perfection. Do not change a thing. So, so bang on. The line that made it was 'his shoelaces barely touch my face'.